Till Death Do Us Part
by Sparkle731
Summary: On the way back to Bay City from New York, Starsky's plane crashes. There are no survivors. This is one of the first stories I wrote for this fandom. It has been edited and revised so I am reposting it. last two chapters posted.
1. Chapter 1

**TILL DEATH DO US PART**

**On the way back to Bay City from New York, Starsky's plane crashes. There are no survivors. This is one of the first stories I wrote for this fandom. It has been edited and revised so I am reposting it. **

**CHAPTER 1**

Detective Kenneth Hutchinson pulled his battered brown LTD into the vast parking lot at LAX. Cursing softly under his breath, he drove up one row and down another until he finally found a parking space. Shoving open the door that had a tendency to stick, he pocketed his keys as he sprinted across the lot towards the entrance to the terminal. Inside the building, he made his way through the clusters of people either waiting to board an outgoing flight or arriving from other destinations. His crystal blue eyes scanned the overhead signs until he found Gate 23. He walked into the waiting area and slumped down on one of the hard plastic chairs that were molded together into a row and bolted to the floor.

Glancing up at the arrival screen mounted on the wall, he saw that flight 219 from New York City was due to arrive on schedule. He had almost an hour yet to wait. Trying to get comfortable in the uncomfortable chair, he stretched his long legs out in front of him and automatically glanced around the room. Even in his relaxed state, the tall blond gave the impression of being alert and aware of his surroundings, down to the smallest detail. Ten years as a cop on the mean streets of the inner city had taught him to be prepared all times for the unexpected.

"Excuse me. Do you have a light?" said a soft melodious voice to his left. He turned his head to look at a pretty brunette in her mid-twenties who was standing beside him with an expectant smile. She was holding an unlit cigarette in one hand, waiting patiently for him to respond to her question.

"No, I'm sorry." Hutch told her with a faint smile tugging at the corners of his finely chiseled mouth. "I don't smoke."

"Oh, well…" the girl said with a bright smile and a shrug of her shoulders "It's bad for you anyway." She opened the bag slung over her shoulder and took out a cigarette case, putting the unlit cigarette away. Slipping the case back into her bag, she nodded at the empty seat beside him. "Do you mind if I join you?" When he shook his head to indicate that he didn't mind, she gracefully slid into the seat. "I'm Cheryl Madison." She said introducing herself to the handsome man she had spotted from across the room.

"Ken Hutchinson. My friends call me Hutch." He replied with a grin, introducing himself to the woman who had decided to join him. With his Nordic good looks, Hutch was used to women coming on to him. They did it all the time and he had learned to accept their advances with charm and good grace.

"Are you waiting for someone?" she asked, stealing a furtive glance at his hands. She was pleased to note that he wasn't wearing a ring but she knew that didn't mean much these days.

"My partner." Hutch told her "He's coming in on the flight from New York." Cheryl frowned slightly and narrowed her eyes when he said he was waiting for his partner. Hutch hid a snicker; he knew that she had misinterpreted his meaning. "I'm a cop." He explained, "My partner's been in New York visiting his mother."

"Oh…." Cheryl said an embarrassed smile crossing her face. "I'm waiting for my sister. She's coming in on the flight from Miami." She said, quickly changing the subject to cover her discomfort. She looked at Hutch with new interest. "So, you're really a cop, huh?"

"That's right." Hutch said with a chuckle "A homicide detective to be exact."

"I guess that explains why you're not in a uniform."

"Something like that."

"That must be interesting."

"It can be." Hutch said politely, enjoying the casual conversation to pass the time while he waited for Starsky's flight to arrive.

"I'm a hostess at the Apallo Nightclub." Cheryl told him trying to keep the conversation going so she could get to know this attractive man a little bit better. "At least in the evenings I am. During the day I'm a student at U.C.L.A."

"What's your major?"

"Pre-Law."

"Good luck." Hutch told her with a soft chuckle remembering his own college days as a pre-law student. He missed her reply, his attention immediately drawn to the sudden activity in and around the ticket counter. His mind automatically slipped into cop mode, a sixth sense instinctively telling him that something was going on. His instincts were confirmed a few moments later by an announcement over the terminal's loudspeakers.

"Flight 219 from New York has been delayed. Would anyone waiting for passengers on that flight, please contact one of the terminal agents immediately."

Hutch was on his feet even before the announcement ended and heading towards the counter. Excusing himself, he pushed his way to the front of the line and pulled his identification out of his hip pocket. Showing his badge to the girl behind the counter, he said, "I'm Detective Hutchinson with the Bay City Police Department. What's going on?"

"I'm sorry, sir. I'm not at liberty to give you any information." The girl said in an anxious voice, eyeing the tall blond-haired man nervously. "If you'd like to step aside, I'll see if my supervisor is available to talk to you."

"You do that." Hutch said, his tone of voice making it clear that someone had better give him some answers and quickly. He stepped aside, moving away from the counter to stand next to the boarding ramp. Other friends and family members who were waiting for flight 219 crowded around the counter, loud anxious voices demanding to know what was going on.

Hutch watched as a middle-aged man wearing a LAX employee uniform walked behind the counter and paused to speak to the young girl that Hutch had just spoken with. With a quick glance in his direction, she inclined her head towards Hutch. The man nodded and straightened his shoulders as he walked from behind the counter. Planting a phony smile on his sharp features, he headed towards the worried detective.

"I'm William Scott, Airport Security Supervisor." He said, offering Hutch his hand. Hutch took the offered hand and shook it firmly. Showing the man his identification, he said,

"Detective Hutchinson. Bay City P.D. Can you tell me what's going on with flight 219?"

"Are you expecting someone on that flight?" the other man asked cautiously without volunteering any information.

"My partner, Detective David Starsky is on that flight." Hutch told him in the same tone that made the criminals he dealt with cringe. "I want to know what's going on. You wouldn't have made that announcement if the flight was just going to be delayed for a couple of hours."

"Perhaps you'd better come to my office, Detective." The older man said solemnly "So we can talk privately."

Hutch felt an uneasy churning sensation in the pit of his stomach and the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. Bracing himself for bad news, he followed the man down a short hallway directly behind the ticket counter to the last door on the right. As the two men stepped inside, the official for the airlines shut the door behind them and motioned for Hutch to have a seat in one of the lush leather bound chairs facing his desk.

"No, thank you." Hutch said firmly "I think I'd rather stand."

"Very well." The other man said with a sigh of resignation. He sat down on the edge of his desk and looked at the tall blond detective with the fire in his eyes. Taking a deep breath to steady himself, he said "We've received unconfirmed reports that flight 219 has crashed somewhere over Utah."

Hutch's face turned white and he staggered backwards a step. He felt like he'd been punched in the chest with a wreaking ball and his heart started pounding frantically as he fought to maintain his composure in front of this stranger. "But those reports are still unconfirmed, correct?" he asked, his mouth suddenly feeling as if it had been stuffed full of cotton.

"That is correct but all contact with the flight has been lost and it is no longer showing up on the radar screen. I'm sorry but I really can't give you any more information than that right now."

"Well how soon can you give me some more information?" Hutch demanded, his voice turning harsh and cold. He knew that this man was only doing his job. It was up to him to try and keep worried friends and family members of passengers on that flight calm until they knew something more definite, but Hutch wasn't in mood to play his games right now.

"We should know something definite within the next couple of hours. There's a private lounge where friends and family members are being asked to wait."

"I have to make a phone call first." Hutch said flatly giving the other man an icy stare.

"Of course. Feel free to use my phone. Dial nine for an outside line." He slid off the desk. "I really must go now….when you're finished with your call, just ask one of the girls at the counter to direct you to the lounge."

Hutch ignored him as the airline official walked out the door. He was already dialing the number for police headquarters so he could inform his immediate superior of the news. When the switchboard operator's voice came on the line, he said gruffly,

"Captain Dobey, please." He waited impatiently for Dobey to pick up. Finally, Dobey's voice growled in his ear,

"This is Dobey."

"Cap, it's Hutch."

"I thought Starsky's flight wasn't due in until two."

"Cap, there are unconfirmed reports that the flight went down. They think it crashed somewhere in Utah." Hutch said, trying to keep the catch out of his voice as he delivered the news. Saying the words out loud only increased his own fear for his partner's safety.

"Oh, my god…" Dobey said softly "How soon will you know for sure?"

"A couple of hours probably."

"I'm on my way." Dobey hung up without saying another word, grabbing his jacket from the back of his chair as he rushed out of his office at police headquarters.

Hutch hung up the phone and slumped down in one of the chairs facing the desk, his legs giving out beneath him. He knew that he had to keep it together; he couldn't lose control now no matter how much he wanted to. Starsky wasn't just his partner, he was his best friend and Hutch said a silent prayer that somehow he was all right. He had to be all right. If he wasn't, Hutch knew he wouldn't be able to handle it. They were close, almost too close sometimes. If anything happened to Starsky, Hutch knew that he would lose the best part of himself.

Starsky and Hutch had always shared a unique, almost psychic connection. They could say more with just a glance or a touch than most people could say verbally. It was unnerving to be around them when they started communicating with each other non-verbally. And even when they did carry on a regular conversation, it was often hard to follow because of their tendency to finish each other's thoughts or sentences. Hutch had always relied on that bond, that connection, to tell him when Starsky was hurt or in trouble. If he were dead, Hutch believed that he would know he would feel it somehow. But all he could feel at the moment was an overwhelming fear that consumed his mind and his soul. Finally, he shoved himself to his feet and left the office to find the lounge where he could wait for more news on flight 219.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

The crowd of people in the private lounge had grown larger as phone calls were made and other family members and friends arrived to wait for news on the fate of flight 219. The sound of voices throughout the room were muted and hushed as the anxious crowd talked quietly among themselves. Hutch and Captain Dobey stood in the far corner of the room eyeing the subdued activity around them. Hutch was drinking a cup of coffee that Captain Dobey had gotten for him out of the vending machine, barely noticing the foul bitter taste.

"Maybe Starsky took a later flight." Dobey said hopefully.

"He called me last night and said he'd be on this flight." Hutch said in a voice that was void of any emotion. "He would have let me know if he changed his plans. He knew I was picking him up." To outsiders, Hutch appeared calm and in control but Captain Dobey knew him well enough to know that it was a façade.

"Have you called his mother?" Dobey knew that Rachel Starsky needed to be notified but he dreaded the idea of having to be the one to make that call.

"No." Hutch said in a grave voice, the line between his eyes deepening as it did when he was under a lot of stress "Not until we know for sure that the plane is down."

"If the news is bad, she needs to hear it from you and not on the six o'clock news." Dobey said pointedly.

"I know that, Captain!" Hutch snapped in an irritated voice that was sharp with anger and frustration. Dobey ignored the outburst. Hutch took a deep breath and exhaled slowly "I'm sorry, Cap. I didn't mean to snap at you. I just don't want to upset her until we know for sure."

"I know." Dobey said putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. He cared about all the men under his command, but Hutch and his partner were his best team and close personal friends of the Dobey family.

Hutch glanced up as the door to the lounge opened and a tall thin black man dressed in an outrageous ensemble consisting of a bright yellow shirt, a multicolored vest and shiny black pants entered the room. The man's soft brown eyes swept across the room until he spotted Hutch and Dobey standing in the corner. With a confident stride, Huggy Bear joined them. Huggy was a close friend and sometime informant of the two detectives. He had left the restaurant/bar he owned and managed as soon as Hutch called him and came directly to the airport to wait for news about Starsky.

"Any news yet?" Huggy asked anxiously as he joined the them.

"Not yet." Hutch told him, as he finished the coffee and threw his cup into a nearby

trashcan. He had stopped smoking years ago while he was still in college but the sudden urge for a cigarette to soothe his ragged nerves was almost overwhelming.

"Curly's got nine lives. You wait and see he's gonna be okay."

"I wish I could believe that, Hug. But this time Starsky's luck might have just ran out."

The three men fell into an uneasy silence each of them lost in their own thoughts.

Starsky had a significant impact on each of their lives. Huggy Bear had been friends with Starsky since he moved to Bay City when he was thirteen and Huggy knew some of his darkest secrets. Captain Dobey had been his superior officer for almost seven years and even though he got annoyed with the impetuous and often frustrating man, he sincerely liked Starsky. And Hutch was his partner and his best friend, but that friendship went far beyond any friendship either of them had ever known. They were true soul mates in every sense of the word and had been ever since the day they met at the police academy over ten years ago.

They had become even closer after Starsky was gunned down in the police parking garage and almost died from his injuries. Five direct hits to his torso had caused massive damage. He was a medical miracle, a man who shouldn't have survived his injuries but did.

When he got out of the hospital, Hutch had moved in with Starsky to care for him and nurse him back to health during an intensive recovery period that took almost a year to complete. Starsky had fought long and hard to re-qualify to go back on the streets as Hutch's partner.

The voices in the room fell silent as the doors opened to admit four men, all dressed in the official uniforms of the airline. One of them was the head of security who had talked to Hutch earlier. Everyone's attention focused on the four men as they walked over to a long table at one end of the room. Standing shoulder to shoulder in front of the table, the tallest of the four men, stepped forward and said,

"My name is Peter Madison and I am Vice President of International Airlines. These gentlemen with me are William Scott, head of airport security, his assistant James Peterson, and my assistant John Livingston." He paused briefly after the introductions were made and let his eyes sweep across the anxious faces gathered around the room. "I regret to inform you that at 1:25 P.M. today, International Airlines flight 219 crashed approximately 70 miles outside of Kansas City. There are no reported survivors."

The room immediately burst into chaos at the announcement that none of the friends and relatives gathered there wanted to hear. Several people started shouting questions at the four men representing the airlines and LAX. Several other people broke down into tears, cluthing at each other for support. Dobey and Huggy both immediately turned their attention to Hutch. The blond's face had drained off color, every muscle in his body tensing. He would his grief tightly under control until they were alone. He would not break down in front of anyone not even his friends.

The spokesperson for the group of representatives facing the crowd raised his hand for silence. When the room was relatively quiet he said, "We'll try to answer any questions you might have but remember that at this time our information is very limited concerning the crash of flight 219."

"Are you sure there were no survivors?" several people called out at the same time voicing the most important question to most of the people in the room.

"At this time, there are no reports of any known survivors." Mr. Madison replied solemnly. "Passenger lists are being faxed so we can compare the lists of who was actually on the plane and any passengers that may have missed the flight or rescheduled."

His eyes scanned the room again, "Representatives from the airlines will be available to assist friends and family members with further details as they become available."

"What caused the crash?" someone else yelled out from the back of the room

"At this time we are not at liberty to say." Mr. Madison nodded at the other men beside him and continued, "I'm afraid that's all the information we have available for you at this time. Please remain here and representatives from the airlines will let you know more information as soon as it becomes available."

As the four men started to leave the room, Hutch shoved his way through the crowd. As the men reached the doorway, Hutch caught up with them and said sharply "Hold up a minute. I have some more questions I need answered!"

The four men paused and turned to look Hutch cautiously. Mr. Scott recognized Hutch from their earlier encounter "Oh, yes….Detective Hutchinson, isn't it?"

"Yes. My partner was that plane."

"Why don't we go to one of the conference rooms where we can talk in private?"

Dobey and Huggy joined Hutch as he left the room with the airport representatives. They walked down a long hallway to a large conference room and went inside. Mr. Scott shut the door behind them and said "I'm afraid we really don't have any additional information for you gentlemen at this time."

"I'm Captain Harold Dobey from the Bay City Police Department" Captain Dobey said, stepping forward and taking control of the situation. "An officer from my department was supposed to be on that plane and it is imperative that I know as soon as possible if Detective David Starsky was one of the passengers on board that flight or not."

"Captain, I understand your concern and I sympathize with you. I assure you that we will let you know about your man as soon as we possibly can"

"What caused the crash?" Hutch demanded

Mr. Madison gazed at him for a moment before deciding to answer "Initial reports indicate that there may have been a bomb on board the plane. In view of the fact that your man was a passenger on that plane then I have to wonder if he might have been the reason that someone would plant a bomb on the flight."

"He was in New York on vacation visiting his family!" Hutch growled, his eyes flashing coldly at the man's words. "If someone wanted to take him out, I don't think they'd plant a bomb on one of your planes to do it!"

"Hutchinson! Stand down." Dobey said firmly. He turned to give the airline officials an icy glare. "Before you make any accusations involving one of my men you'd better make sure you have the evidence to back it up!"

"Captain Dobey, Detective Hutchinson…" Mr. Madison said politely "No one is making any accusations…we are just considering all the possible theories behind the crash. Obviously the fact that one of the passengers just happened to be a police detective from our fair city has to be considered as a possible motive for someone to plant a bomb on that plane."

"Like the Captain said, you'd better make sure you have plenty evidence to support that theory before you go making any accusations about my partner!" Hutch growled in a cold, deadly voice.

"Gentlemen, please…." Mr. Madison said realizing that the situation was reaching the critical point. "No one is making any accusations at this time. A complete investigation will be conducted to determine the exact circumstances surrounding the crash." He looked at the other three men coolly "Now, if you will excuse us….we have other pressing matters to attend to."

As the other four men representing the airlines left the room, Hutch began pacing the office, muttering obscenities under his breath as he fought to control his anger. Dobey and Huggy sat down on the leather sofa sitting against one wall to wait for him to vent his frustration. None of them could bring themselves to say the words out loud, but they all knew that it didn't look good as far as Starsky was concerned.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

The church was crowded with people, the pews full with the overflow standing in the back of the room. They had come to pay their last respects to Detective Sergeant First Class David Micheal Starsky. A hero's farewell with full departmental honors. Hutch let his mind wander, refusing to focus on his surroundings. It was too painful. This couldn't be happening. It had to be a nightmare. If he just concentrated hard enough he would be able to wake up and things would be back to normal. But things would never be normal again. Starsky was gone and he was never coming back. And the pain in Hutch's chest was threatening to crush him like a vice around his heart.

A passenger's list from the doomed flight showed that Starsky had gotten on board the plane in New York City. He had been sitting in seat 14 B. It was determined that the crash had been caused by a bomb hidden on board the flight. The preliminary report showed that the major impact of the blast had taken out sections 12 through 16, totally destroying that section of the plane and anyone who had been sitting there. Starsky's friends and family didn't even have the comfort of having a body to claim for burial. The remains of the passengers had been burned and dismembered beyond memorial service was being held in California for his friends and fellow officers there. A second memorial service would be held in New York later in the week for his family members who still lived there.

Since the crash, one day had blurred into another, an endless void of debilitating grief that was slowing destroying the blond detective. Losing Starsky had caused Hutch to lose a part of himself, a vital part that could never be replaced. He found himself alone and drifting in a world that he no longer wanted to be a part of, not without Starsky by his side. Besides the almost paralyzing grief that threatened to overwhelm him, Hutch was also consumed by a deep-seated rage, a rage that he had no outlet for. There was no perp to go after and hunt down to avenge his partner's murder. Nothing to distract him and occupy his mind by doing what he did best. Without an outlet for that rage, Hutch turned it inward on himself, blaming himself in some obscure way for not protecting his partner. He was already shutting himself off from his friends and colleagues, building a wall around his emotions that nobody could penetrate. He was going through the motions of living even though he was already dead inside.

Finally, the memorial service came to a merciful end. Hutch felt Huggy tugging at his arm, helping him to his feet. Eyes lowered to avoid seeing the sympathy and pity reflected in the other mourners eyes, Hutch allowed himself to be led from the building. Captain Dobey had insisted that Hutch stay with him and his wife for a few days, unwilling to let the devastated man be alone. Hutch had protested but he was quickly overruled. Too exhausted emotionally and mentally from the events of the past few days, he had reluctantly given in. In the end, he knew that nobody would be able to protect him from himself.

When they got back to Captain Dobey's home, Hutch immediately stumbled up the stairs to the guest room and closed the door, shutting out the world around him. Edith Dobey glanced at her husband worriedly, her dark brown eyes brimming with tears. In a soft forlorn voice she said,

"He's not getting any better, is he?"

"No…and I'm scared to death that we're going to lose him too." Dobey admitted, "I'm not sure that he can go on without Starsky. He doesn't want to."

"You still have his gun, don't you?" she asked glancing at her husband sharply.

"Yes. I took it away from him as soon as we found out that Starsky was on that plane." Dobey turned to look at his wife solemnly "But that won't stop him from hurting himself if he really wants to." He sighed deeply. He knew there was only so much he could do for the remaining half of the dynamic duo.

"He's already dying…." Edith Dobey said sadly "A little more each day."

"I'll try talking to him again later." Dobey promised, slipping an arm around his wife's shoulders and giving her a reassuring hug. He had never felt so helpless in his life.

"Has he eaten anything?"

Dobey shook his head "Not that I know of….nothing for the past three days."

"I'll make something and try to get him to eat. He needs to keep up his strength." Edith smiled faintly "I'll have Rosie take it up to him. Maybe he'll eat something for her."

Dobey smiled. Starsky and Hutch were both extremely fond of his six-year-old daughter, Rosie. "That's a good idea." Dobey said agreeing wholeheartedly with the idea.

As Edith went into the kitchen to try to find something to tempt Hutch's appetite, Dobey went upstairs to his bedroom to change into something more comfortable.

At the end of that week, Hutch insisted on returning to his own apartment. The Dobey's reluctantly agreed. They knew they couldn't force him to stay with them if he didn't want to. Hutch was still teetering on the edge, barely keeping his raging emotions in check but he knew how to put up a convincing front. He knew that everyone was worried about him but he didn't want their pity. He just wanted to be alone with his memories and his pain. That was all he had left. It wasn't supposed to end like this. Not for him and Starsky.

Captain Dobey had put him on compassionate leave so he didn't have to worry about work. And he didn't know when or if he would ever return to the job. He knew that he would never work the streets again not with another partner. He had been disillusioned with the job for a long time. The only reason he hadn't quit before now was because of Starsky. But with Starsky gone, the job no longer meant anything to him. He had a trust fund that his grandfather had left him years ago, so he had enough money to live on comfortably for the rest of his life. But, in his heart, he knew that his present lifespan wouldn't be very long.

Hutch glared at Nick Starsky as he pawed through the clothes in Starsky's closet. He had never liked Starsky's younger brother and those feelings had not changed over the years. The younger Starsky brother was brash, obnoxious and overbearing. Rachel had insisted that Hutch keep anything he wanted of Starsky's. She had given him first choice over Nick, a decision that had not set well with Nicky who had always resented the friendship between Hutch and his brother.

The only items that Hutch had chosen to keep to remember his best friend by had been his guitar, his record collection, the model ships he had enjoyed building for relaxation, Starsky's camera equipment, and his favorite brown leather jacket. He had also kept all the pictures of himself and Starsky, along with several shots of Starsky by himself or with Terri. Hutch had been surprised when Rachel had called him and asked him to be there when she cleaned out Starsky's apartment. He reluctantly agreed, knowing that this final step in disposing of Starsky's possessions would be like a knife through his heart and one more nail in his own coffin.

Rachel had arranged for the furniture and household items to be donated to a local charity along with the clothes that Nick didn't want. Hutch had helped her to box up items and mark them so they'd be ready for pickup while Nick picked through the items his brother had collected over his lifetime. Hutch resented watching the younger man pick up various items and examine them, more concerned with their monetary value then any sentimental value. Hutch knew that the two brothers had never been close and in Hutch's mind, the younger man had no right to anything that had belonged to Starsky. But he had the connection through blood that Hutch could never share.

Nicky's barely concealed hatred for Hutch flared when Rachel insisted that Hutch keep the Torino.

"You can't give him Davy's car! He'd want me to have it!"

"And what would you do with a car in New York?" Rachel said "Besides, Ken has more right to that car than you do. David would have wanted it this way and that's the way it's going to be."

Hutch didn't try to hide his smug smile as Nicky yelled and cursed, arguing with his mother about her decision to give the car to Hutch. He watched in amusement as Rachel displayed the same steely determination and stubbornness as her oldest son as she told Nicky in no uncertain terms that Hutch had more right to the Torino than Nicky did.

As the mother and son argued about her decision, Hutch let his mind wander to all the hours he had spent in the Torino with Starsky. He had complained outrageously about Starsky's vehicle but the truth was, that car had been a big part of who Starsky was and Hutch was grateful that Rachel had insisted on giving him the car so that it didn't wind up in Nicky's possession. Even though Hutch knew that he would never be able to drive the car again himself, he would always cherish it because it had meant so much to Starsky.

Finally, the painful process of cleaning out the apartment was finished. Rachel kissed Hutch goodbye and invited him to come to New York for a visit whenever he wanted. Rachel Starsky had adopted Hutch as her son the first time that Starsky had taken him back to New York with him to meet her. And he sincerely liked the lady and respected her, even if he couldn't stand Nicky. But he knew that visiting her in New York would be far too painful for him. As he watched her walk away, he knew that he would probably never see her again.

Locking Starsky's apartment for the last time, Hutch turned and slowly climbed back down the steps. Climbing into his car, he drove back to his own apartment. He unloaded the items he had kept for himself and carried them into his apartment, storing them out of sight in a hallway closet. He would call Huggy later and ask him to pick up the Torino and put safely in storage. Grabbing a bottle of Jim Beam from underneath the kitchen cabinet, Hutch opened it and sat down on the sofa to drink himself into oblivion. If he got drunk enough, maybe tonight he would be able to sleep without the nightmares that had plagued him since losing his best friend and partner.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

**(Six Months Later)**

"Hug, give me another drink." Hutch slurred his words badly as his bloodshot eyes sought out the man behind the bar.

"I think you've had enough my friend." Huggy said firmly, eyeing his old friend solemnly. Hutch had been there all evening, drinking heavily and he'd been drinking the hard stuff, not just beer. Drinking seemed to be his favorite pastime since the plane crash almost six months ago that had shattered his life. With a practiced eye, Huggy noted the too thin frame and the dark circles underneath the eyes that had lost their glow. When Hutch lost Starsky, he lost the other half of himself and part of his very soul.

"If I want another drink I can have another drink!" Hutch growled belligerently, glaring at Huggy as if daring him to argue.

"Not here, you can't." Huggy said firmly, ignoring the glare in the tall blond's eyes. Huggy had years of experience dealing with belligerent drunks and he knew how to handle them without making a scene. "You're cut off, blondie." He threw a glance at a pretty brunette helping tend the bar "Diane, take over for me while I take our big friend here home." The woman nodded absently as she continued to wait on the customers at her end of the crowded bar.

Huggy sauntered around the end of the bar and approached Hutch cautiously. He had taken his car keys away from him earlier and he hoped he could get him to leave peacefully. Gently touching Hutch's arm, Huggy said "Come on, Hutch. I'll drive you home."

Hutch grumbled something under his breath but he slid off his stool without any further comment. Unsteadily, he followed the bar owner out of the bar to the street. Huggy found Hutch's car and climbed beneath the wheel using the keys he had confiscated earlier. Hutch slid into the passenger's seat and leaned his head back against the headrest, closing his eyes wearily. This was getting to be a nightly ritual between the two friends.

Huggy concentrated on his driving as he headed for Hutch's Ocean Place Apartment. He was concerned about his friend's welfare. He knew that Hutch was coping with what had happened to Starsky the only way he knew how. The alcohol was the only way he could numb the pain that was slowly destroying him. The only thing that could make him feel any better was what the one thing that he had lost.

When he reached Hutch's apartment, Huggy parked the battered LTD in Hutch's usual spot and climbed out from behind the wheel. Crossing to the opposite side of the car, he opened the door and helped Hutch to climb out of the car. Supporting the bigger man's weight as best he could, Huggy helped him stumble up the stairs to his second floor apartment. Reaching above the doorsill, Huggy grabbed the spare key that Hutch kept there and unlocked the door. With some effort, he managed to get Hutch back to his bedroom and into bed. Hutch passed out the minute his head hit the pillow, snoring softly. Huggy pulled off the blond's boots and laid his keys on the nightstand. "Sleep well my friend." Huggy whispered once he had Hutch safely settled into bed. Sighing softly, Huggy grabbed the phone and called for a taxi to take him back to The Pits. Quietly letting himself out of the apartment and locking the door behind him, he went down the steps to wait.

Hutch groaned and squeezed his eyes shut to block out the glare of sunlight pouring through the window that overlooked the bed. His head was pounding relentlessly and his stomach churned uneasily. Cautiously, he shoved himself to the edge of the bed, regretting it almost immediately. He barely made it to the bathroom in time to fall to his knees in front of the commode. He retched violently until there was nothing left in his stomach to bring up and even then, he continued to dry heave for several more minutes.

Finally, he managed to push himself back to his feet, still weak and unsteady on his feet.

He reached into the tub and turned on the shower, adjusting the spray to a comfortable temperature. He was going to be late to work again but he didn't care anymore. Since the plane crash he'd been stuck behind a desk writing reports and reviewing other detective's cases. He flatly refused to work the streets with another partner and Dobey wouldn't let him work alone. Stripping off his wrinkled clothes, he threw them in the general vicinity of the hamper and climbed into the tub. Bracing his hands against the tiled wall of the shower, Hutch leaned forward and let the water wash down over him clearing his head and washing away some of the aftereffects of his drunken haze. Hutch stood there for a long time his tears mingling with the water from the shower that streamed down his face.

The water abruptly turning from hot to cold shocked Hutch out of his daze. As quickly as possible, he finished washing off and climbed out of the tub. Grabbing a towel from the floor, he sniffed it, then shrugged and used it to dry off. After shaving and brushing his teeth, he went into the bedroom and dug though his closet until he finally found a clean shirt and pair of cords. He made a mental note to do some laundry or he'd be wearing dirty clothes for the rest of the week. It seemed to take all of his energy just to get out of bed most days, insignificant things like laundry and grocery shopping were things he could ignore.

It was almost an hour later when Hutch pulled up in front of the Metro Division of the Bay City Police Department. Other officers looked the other way, carefully avoiding any eye contact with Hutch as he walked into the building. Most of them had learned through painful experience not to attempt to exchange pleasantries with him. If he didn't ignore them outright, he was just as likely to slam them into a wall if they said the wrong thing. Hutch was on edge and ready to blow. The only question was how soon.

As Hutch walked into the squad room on the third floor, he noticed that the other officers in the room as seemed strangely subdued and quiet. He wondered what was going on. He didn't have to wait long for an answer. The door to Captain Dobey's office flew open and the burly black man bellowed "Hutchinson! Get in here now!"

Hutch walked into the office and slouched into a chair as Dobey slammed the door shut. Walking back behind his desk, Dobey eyed him somberly, "Hutch, we have a situation and I need to know that you're capable of handling it."

"What kind of situation?" Hutch asked cautiously, his eyes narrowing as he looked at his commanding officer suspiciously. He knew that it had to be something important for Dobey to even consider sending him back on the streets in his present condition.

Dobey pushed a small package that had been wrapped in brown wrapping paper across the desk to Hutch. Hutch picked it up glancing briefly at the postmark. It was addressed to Captain Dobey at the Bay City Police Department, Bay City, California and it was postmarked from New York City but there was not return address. The package had already been carefully opened and still contained traces of fingerprint powder. Hutch pulled open the flaps and caught his breath sharply. He hesitated before carefully examining the contents.

His breathing quickened and his stomach twisted painfully as he carefully examined each item in the package. It contained Starsky's badge and police ID. His wallet with all of his credit cards, his driver's license and eighty dollars in cash. His wristwatch and the two rings that he always wore on his left pinky finger. In the bottom of the box lay Starsky's keys. Hutch struggled to control the violent shaking of his hands as he looked back at the Captain silently demanding answers to his unspoken question.

"That was on my desk when I got to work this morning." Dobey explained gruffly. "It's already been checked. There weren't any usable prints on it."

"This m-means that S-Starsky could still be alive…" Hutch said his voice barely above a whisper. Although his face remained calm, the stutter in his voice that only occurred when he was nervous or under a lot of stress belied his calm exterior.

"We don't know what it means yet," Dobey said gravely "The question is…who sent it to us and why?"

"Someone is trying to tell us that he's out there somewhere….that he's still alive." Hutch insisted with a catch in his voice.

"Someone could be trying to tell us that he wasn't on that plane." Dobey agreed "That doesn't mean he's still alive….." Dobey hated to crush Hutch's hopes but he needed to keep him grounded in reality.

"I need to go to New York." Hutch said firmly "I need to find out what really happened to Starsky.

"I'll make the arrangements and call the NYPD to let them know you're coming. Brief Turner on what you've been working on before you leave."

Dobey sighed as he watched Hutch leave the office. He knew that Starsky was probably dead but at least if Hutch could find out what really happened to him, maybe it would give him some badly needed closure.


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5**

Receiving the package with his personal possessions raised more questions than it answered about Starsky's fate. The only thing that was painfully obvious was that Starsky may not have been on that plane when it crashed. Hutch clung to the belief that Starsky was still alive, out there somewhere, just waiting for Hutch to find him and rescue him. Dobey tended to be a bit more realistic. The most logical place to start looking for some answers as to what really happened to Starsky six months ago was in New York City.

Dobey immediately got on the phone to the New York City Police Department and explained the situation to them. They agreed to extend professional courtesy to Hutch so he could go to New York and investigate Starsky's disappearance. While Dobey made the travel arrangements, Hutch placed a phone call to Rachel Starsky to tell her he was coming to the city.

Rachel answered the phone after three rings.

"Rachel, it's Ken."

"Ken, she said in a delighted voice "It's so good to hear from you. How are you?"

"I'm fine." Hutch bit at his lower lip as he pondered the best way to break the news to her about the new development concerning Starsky. "Uh….Rachel, the reason I called is because I'm going to be coming to New York. There's been a new development in David's case and I need to tie up some loose ends." He decided not to elaborate. It would be better to tell her all the details in person.

"I see," she said, the tone of her voice making it apparent that she knew there was something he wasn't telling her. "How soon will you be here?"

"As soon as possible."

"Well, you're going to stay here while you're in town. I insist."

"Rachel, that's not necessary. I can check into a motel." Hutch said uneasily. He was not sure if he was up to staying in Starsky's childhood home while he was in New York.

"Nonsense. I insist and I don't want to hear any more arguments about it." She said firmly.

Hutch chuckled softly. It wasn't hard to see where Starsky had gotten his stubbornness from. "Alright," he agreed "If you insist." His eyes narrowed and he asked a bit coldly "Is Nicky going to be there?"

"No. He has a new girlfriend he's been staying with," Rachel told him "So you'll have David's old room all to yourself."

"Thanks again, Rachel," Hutch said gratefully "I'll give you a call as soon as I know my flight number and arrival time."

"You do that, dear. I'm looking forward to seeing you," Rachel said in a warm, sincere voice.

Hutch sighed as he hung up the phone. He pinched the bridge of his nose between two fingers, trying to ease the ache in his head. For the past six months, he had been trying to drown himself in the alcohol, to ease the constant pain of losing his best friend and partner. Now, he had a reason to be a cop again. He smiled faintly as he glanced at the two rings he had slipped on his own pinky. Starsky's rings entrusted to his care until he could return them to their rightful owner.

The news about the package and its contents was being kept a closely guarded secret between Hutch, Captain Dobey and the police commissioner. The fewer people who knew about this new evidence the better. Hutch would call Dobey once a day to check in and to report anything he discovered about Starsky's disappearance. While Hutch would have the vast resources of the New York P.D. at his disposal he intended to use whatever means necessary to find the answers he sought. And if Starsky was really dead, then he intended to find his body so he could have a proper burial. Without a body, Hutch refused to give up his renewed hope that Starsky could still be alive.

Huggy Bear looked at the tall detective in amazement. "Do you think Starsky could still be alive?" he asked in a stunned voice after hearing Hutch's explanation about the reason for his upcoming trip to New York City.

"I don't know, Hug," Hutch admitted in a frustrated tone "I just don't know. I know that someone couldn't have gotten his badge and those rings off of him without one hell of a fight."

"Unless he was in no condition to fight when they took 'em," Huggy pointed out "Maybe he was knocked out or drugged."

"Somebody went to a hell of a lot of trouble to make sure it looked like he was on that plane when it crashed," Hutch stated grimly "And in order to do that, they had to send a ringer on that flight pretending to be Starsky."

"But why?" Huggy asked in a puzzled voice looking at Hutch for the answer to his question.

"When I find out the why then I'll know what really happened to Starsky." Hutch told him with a weary sigh. He finished off his beer in one long swallow and motioned for a refill. He needed to keep a clear head for what lay ahead. Maybe after all this time, he would finally find the answers he needed so desperately.

The Starsky residence was located on a side street in eastern Brooklyn. Over the years the neighborhood had slowly deteriorated as gangs and drugs took over the area. Rachel Starsky had lived in her house for over forty years and had made it clear that she had no intentions of moving. This was her home and it would remain her home until the day she died. The small two-story frame house was in good repair compared to some of the neighboring houses which sported boarded up windows and overgrown lawns.

Hutch paid the taxi driver and gathered his bags walking slowly up the sidewalk to the front door. The door opened before he could ring the bell and Rachel Starsky threw herself into his arms. Hutch smiled. She had always made him feel welcome in her home and had treated him just like one of her own sons. She knew how close he was to Starsky and she had accepted their relationship without question. She had always known that he was more of a brother to Starsky than Nick ever had been or ever would be.

"Why don't you put your bags in David's room?" she suggested "Then we can catch up over a cup of tea."

Hutch nodded and carried his bags up the steps to the second floor. He put his bags in the first room on the left at the head of the stairs. It had been Starsky's childhood room. It was a warm comfortable room that reflected the child Starsky had been when he had lived in this house. Hutch couldn't help but compare this room to his old bedroom in his family home. His parents had totally cleaned out his room when he left home, leaving nothing behind to even hint of his occupancy in their house.

Hutch felt both uncomfortable and yet strangely at peace at the thought of staying in this room. In this room he could feel close to Starsky again at least for a little while. Sitting his bags beside the double bed in the middle of the room he went back downstairs to join Rachel in the kitchen.

He sat down at the kitchen table and watched as Rachel poured two cups of tea. She sat one cup in front of Hutch and kept the other one for herself. "So," she said with a faint smile tugging at her lips "Are you ready to tell me why you're really here?"

Hutch smiled. Rachel was just as perceptive and as direct as her oldest son. It was plain to see where much of Starsky's personality came from. Hutch owed her the truth. Taking a deep breath, he said "Yesterday a package was delivered to Captain Dobey at police headquarters. It was postmarked from here but there was no return address. It contained Starsky's badge, his ID, his wallet, his keys, his watch and his rings."

Rachel looked at Hutch with sapphire eyes that looked so much like Starsky's that it was unnerving. A variety of emotions flickered through those eyes simultaneously. Alarm, surprise, fear, and hope. In a carefully controlled voice, she said "Are you trying to tell me that that David wasn't on that plane?"

"That's what I'm here to find out."

"But why now? Why would someone wait this long to send David's things to you?"

"I don't know but that's one of the things I intend to find out."

"But, the airlines said that David boarded that plane. His name was on the passenger list."

"Someone could have boarded the plane pretending to be him."

"Why would someone do that?"

"Because someone obviously wanted us to believe that he was on that plane to keep us from finding out what really happened to him."

"How are you going to be able to find out what really happened after all this time?" Rachel asked. She had been married to a cop. She knew how difficult it was to solve a case that had gone cold.

"Somebody out there knows what happened. Someone sent that package,

" Hutch said firmly "All I have to do is find out who."

"Well, first things first. You need a good home cooked meal and a good night's sleep." Rachel said in a voice that warned Hutch not to argue. "You can start looking for answers tomorrow." She smiled and reached out to touch Hutch's hand "I know that you'll find my son and bring him home to me….one way or the other."

"I will." Hutch said with a sad little smile, "I promise you that…no matter how long it takes….I'll find him and I'll bring him home."


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6**

A faint smile tugged at Hutch's lips as he looked around the room where Starsky had spent his childhood years. The room still reflected the boy that Starsky had been. On the nightstand beside the bed was a framed picture of Starsky standing beside his father, who was dressed in his uniform, both of them smiling that same crooked smile. Starsky had grown into almost a mirror image of Michael Starsky. They looked so much alike that it was eerie.

Hutch knew how much Starsky had loved and idolized his father. He also knew the story of how his father had been gunned down in the street in front of his home, dying in his twelve-year-old son's arms, a tragedy that had scarred Starsky emotionally and shaped the course of his life afterwards. It was one of the reasons that Starsky had followed his father's example and became a cop himself.

A baseball bat and a basketball lay on the floor in one corner of the room, partially covered by a well-worn and faded denim jacket. Some carefully constructed model cars covered the top of the dresser, most of them painted candy apple red. One wall was decorated with pages torn out of magazines showing pictures of flashy cars and pretty girls. Some long forgotten baseball cards lay scattered on the floor beside the dresser.

Hutch could close his eyes and almost picture Starsky in this room, feel his unseen presence, so close and yet so far away. Burying his face in the pillow, he could almost imagine Starsky's scent still clinging to the pillowcase beneath his head. _I know you're out there somewhere, partner _Hutch thought to himself as he drifted off to sleep _And I'm going to find you or I'm gonna die trying._

Early the next morning, Hutch drove his rental car to the local precinct and introduced himself, explaining to the officer in charge why he was in the city. Since this was the same precinct where Michael Starsky had been a cop for almost fifteen years, the officer that Hutch spoke too knew the Starsky family and promised Hutch any assistance he needed to help investigate Starsky's disappearance.

Hutch knew how difficult it would be since the case was over six months old and valuable time had been lost since the plane crash. Clues had been lost that could be invaluable and possible witnesses had long since disappeared. But the package received at headquarters back home proved that there was someone out there somewhere who knew the truth about what had happened to Starsky that day. Somehow, Hutch had to find that person and find out what they knew and how they came to be in possession of Starsky's personal effects.

When Hutch returned to the Starsky's home, he was not happy to find Nicky sitting at the kitchen table. He was in no mood to trade barbs with the obnoxious and brash young man. He had never liked Nick Starsky. He only tolerated him because he was Starsky's kid brother. Nick was too much like all the other punks that Starsky and Hutch dealt with every day on the streets back home. Hutch knew he had already spent time in jail for petty theft and for possession of marijuana. He was certain that Nick was probably guilty of other crimes that he had just never been caught.

"So, Hutch…" Nicky said with an irritating smile as Hutch came into the kitchen and sat down at the table. He smiled and gratefully accepted the cup of coffee that Rachel offered him. "Ma says you're here investigating what happened to Davey."

"Something like that." Hutch said evasively

"You don't really think he's still alive, do you?"

"That's what I intend to find out." Hutch said curtly trying to hold his temper at the sarcastic tone of Nick's voice.

"And you really think you're gonna find out anything after all this time?" Nick said with thin smile, "You're just wasting your time."

"I guess it's a good thing for Starsky that I don't feel the same way you do about finding out what really happened to him." Hutch said tensely. Rachel glanced nervously between the tall blond and her younger son. She could feel the tension in the air and hoped that both men could control their tempers and their tongues.

"You ain't gonna find out what you need to know through your cop friends. You need somebody with a real connection to the streets." Nick told him

"Somebody like you?" Hutch asked not even trying to keep the sarcasm out of his voice as he voiced the question.

"No, not me. Actually, I was thinking about an old friend of the family that could find out a hell of lot more than you ever will."

"Nicholas!" Rachel said sharply, throwing a warning glance at her son. There was a definite warning tone to her voice and Hutch had a suspicion that they had already had this conversation before Hutch came in. Whatever Nick had in mind, Rachel obviously objected.

"Oh come on, Ma." Nicky said with a smug smile "You afraid Hutch is gonna find out some of the family secrets if you ask Joe for help?"

"I think you'd better go now, Nicholas." Rachel said, deliberately cutting him off before he could continue.

Nicky threw his mother a dark look and then roughly shoved back his chair, knocking it over. "Whatever." He said in a disgusted voice. Throwing Hutch an equally dirty look, he turned and stormed out the back door, slamming it behind him.

Hutch jumped to his feet and sat up the overturned chair. He turned as Rachel slumped down at the table, an anxious worried look on her features. "Are you okay?" he asked her in a concerned voice, as he took his seat across the table from her.

"Don't worry about me." She reassured him with a thin smile "I'm fine. Nicky and I just don't see eye to eye about asking certain people for help."

"Who's Joe? Some local gangster friend of Nicky's that owes him a favor?" Hutch asked quietly.

Rachel was silent for so long that Hutch wasn't sure she was going to answer his question. Then she sighed softly and said "No….he's an old friend of the family." She paused and then added "Joe Durniak."

Hutch caught his breath. Joe Durnick was a mob boss. One of the biggest and well-known mob bosses in the country. He kept silent, watching the flow of emotions that washed over Rachel's face. Finally, he reached out and touched her hand reassuringly. "It's okay." He said in a gentle, soothing voice "You don't owe me any explanations."

"Yes, I do." Rachel said decisively. "It's not the way Nicky makes it sound. Joe and Michael were best friends….much the same way you and David are. As they got older, they took different paths in life but they still remained friends. Joe always knew that Michael wouldn't do him any special favors or look the other way when it came so some of Joe's 'business dealings' and Joe respected him for that.

I'm sure you know that Michael's murder was never solved. There was some evidence that it was mob related. Joe always felt guilty about that. He always wondered if the fact that they had remained friendly adversaries as adults had somehow marked Michael for retaliation from a rival mob. I know that Joe had a contract put out on two men after Michael was killed that Joe believed were responsible for his death." She sighed and stood up to pour each of them another cup of coffee.

Hutch waited patiently for her to continue. "After Michael died, Joe felt that it was his duty to watch out for Michael's family a final sign of respect for their friendship. He put out the word on the streets that we were under his 'protection'." Rachel's eyes clouded with sadness as she went on with her story "After Michael died, David had such a hard time accepting it. He was so close to his father. He was so full of anger and pain….he started hanging out with a bad crowd, getting into trouble. I sent him away to save him….to keep him alive." She looked at Hutch somberly "Did David ever tell you why I sent him to California to live with Rosie and Al?"

"Just that he was getting into a lot of trouble here and hanging out with a gang of kids he shouldn't have been hanging out with." Hutch told her, not sure he wanted to hear the rest of the story but sensing that Rachel needed to tell him.

"He was attacked by a rival gang a few blocks from here. They almost killed him. They beat him with a baseball bat, broke several ribs and shattered his left ankle. Then they threw him off a three-story building. Luckily, he fell into an open dumpster that was filled with some old carpet remnants and that broke his fall, kept him from being killed."

Hutch caught his breath at the images that flashed through his mind. Now he knew why Starsky was afraid of heights and why he had a weak left ankle that got sprained so easily. He forced himself to listen to the rest of Rachel's story

"He was in a coma for almost a week. I did what I had to do to save him, to keep him alive. Joe gave me the money to send him away….to send him to California. It was the hardest decision I ever had to make in my life but I thank god every day that I did it. I saved my son the only way I knew how." A thin smile tugged at her mouth "If I hadn't sent him away….he wouldn't be the man he is today. He would have turned out just like Nicky or even worse."

"You did what you had to do because you loved him," Hutch said with a gentle smile, as he reached out and squeezed her hand.

"I'm just sorry that I couldn't protect Nicky the same way that I did David….but I just couldn't bear to send him away too. It was hard enough to do that with David."

"I'm sure it was."

"Joe tried to help out as much as he could over the years but I refused to let him do as much as he would have liked to. It didn't feel right. He stood for everything that Michael was against….everything that Michael died for." She took a deep breath to soothe her ragged nerves and looked at Hutch steadily "But Nicky is right about one thing….Joey might be able to help you find out what happened to David easier than the police can…."

"I'd make a deal with devil if it meant finding Starsky." Hutch told her "Do you really think he could help me?"

"Yes….he'll do it for David….and for Michael." She said softly as she pushed back her chair and walked into the living room to use the phone.


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 7**

Joe Durniak. Mob Boss. Gangster. Hiding under the cover of a respected and respectable businessman. And a friend of the Starsky Family. Somehow, he didn't seem that surprised to receive Rachel's call and he quickly agreed to meet with Hutch that afternoon.

When Hutch arrived for the scheduled meeting, he was immediately ushered into Durniak's private office by his very pretty and very efficient secretary. The office was lush and elegant, filled with expensive furniture and art pieces hanging on the wall. Durniak sat behind his desk, his eyes warily sizing up the blond detective as he entered the inner sanctum. Durniak was a distinguished looking man in his late sixties with shrewd watchful eyes. He motioned to the overstuffed black leather chair facing his desk with a thin somewhat condoning smile. As Hutch sank into the chair, Durniak spoke, his voice rough and gravelly sounding, "So you are Ken Hutchinson, Davy's partner from California."

"Yes. I am," Hutch said, eyeing the other man cautiously, the way you would eye a strange dog to make sure it wasn't going to bite. By reputation alone, Joe Durniak was a very dangerous man. He was also a man who knew how to get things done.

"How long have you and Davy been partners?" Durniak asked leaning back comfortably in his chair and gazing at Hutch with a thin smile.

"Seven years but we've been friends ever since the Academy."

"You must be all right if Davy's kept you around that long."

"I know that Rachel told you why I'm here. Can you help me find out what happened to Starsky or not?" Hutch asked bluntly, not in the mood to continue this casual conversation. He needed to know if he could count on the mob boss for help or not.

"You know that David was not on the plane that crashed." Durniak said. It was a simple statement of fact, not a question.

"Who was?"

"Some poor soul who thought he was getting paid to pretend to be someone else and a free trip to California. Nothing more, nothing less. Someone who wouldn't be missed by anyone when he disappeared."

"Why have him pretend to be Starsky?"

"I'm sure you've already figured that out. The people who took Davy wanted everyone else to believe that he was on that plane when it crashed so nobody would come looking for him." Durniak replied offhandedly as if the answer to that question should have been obvious.

"Where is my partner?" Hutch demanded. He hated the pleading tone in his own voice but when it came to Starsky, he would get down on his knees and beg if that was what it took to find out what really happened to him.

"I have some of my associates looking into that as we speak." Durniak said

"What I can tell you is that the money to finance this operation came from the west coast. You and David have made some very powerful enemies over the years because you are so good at what you do."

"Who's the bank?"

"That doesn't matter. I assure you that he will be dealt with in the end." Durniak looked at Hutch with a thin smile, reading the questions in his steady gaze. "I knew nothing of this when Davy was taken or I would have stopped it before it happened."

"Then how do you know so much about it now?" Hutch asked, not really caring how brash or insensitive the question seemed to be.

"Because the person who had Davy's personal possessions came to me for help. They wanted to know what they should do but they didn't want to get involved. So I suggested sending a package to California. A package I knew would bring you here looking for answers." Durniak explained patiently.

"Who sent the package?" Hutch asked in an icy voice, fighting hard to control the anger that boiled inside of him. He wanted to tear something apart with his bare hands, anything to vent the anger that he had no outlet for.

"That I can't tell you. I gave my word that I would keep them out of this." Durniak told him firmly "Let's just say that they are in my debt now and they will do as I say." Hutch didn't like the answer but he knew the rules and he would play by them if he had to. The only thing that mattered to him was finding Starsky even if it meant doing it Durniak's way.

"Did they have anything to do with whatever happened to my partner?"

"Indirectly….they provided the men who took him with the information they needed to find him in the right place at the right time."

"It was Nicky, wasn't it?" Hutch said in a brittle tone, the rage in his voice barely contained. "He sold out his own brother, didn't he?"

"Some people will do anything for the right price." Durniak said without answering Hutch's question directly but the blond detective could read the answer in his steely eyes. "To those people, honor means nothing….." His own voice turned hard and cold. "But that is not your concern. That is another issue I will take care of when the time is right."

"Is Starsky still alive?" Hutch asked, struggling to keep his voice calm and steady.

"As far as I can determine….. I should have more detailed information for you soon."

"How soon?"

"Within the next twenty-four hours. I trust that I can reach you at Rachel's number."

"I'll be there."

"Good. Then go back there, Detective Hutchinson and wait for my call."

Knowing that he was being dismissed. Hutch rose to his feet and left the office. A mixture of emotions raged inside of him: Rage, bitterness, fear and hope. His police instincts told him that Durniak was telling the truth and that he would help him find his missing partner. Those instincts also told Hutch that he had a score to settle with Nick Starsky. But first things first. First he had to find his best friend. The other half of his soul.

Hutch slowly drove his rental car back to the Starsky home. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee filled the air in the kitchen as he stepped into the house. Rachel smiled at him warmly and sat a cup on the table, gesturing for him to sit.

"Can Joe help?" she asked as he sat down, looking at him hopefully.

"Yes….he said he'll call me in the next twenty-four hours with more information." Hutch sighed softly and rubbed the bridge of his nose between two fingers. He was suddenly exhausted, physically and emotionally. He had been running on nothing but pure adrenaline for almost a week and his resources were starting to wear thin.

"Is David still alive?"

"As far as Durniak knows he is."

"Oh, thank god!" Rachel exclaimed in a relieved voice as she sank into a chair facing Hutch. Automatically, her fingers closed around the Star of David that she wore around her neck and raised it to her lips, kissing it gently. Tears glistened in her eyes as she looked back at Hutch and tried to smile. "God has answered my prayers…."

"Rachel, we haven't got him back yet." Hutch pointed out solemnly. "We don't know who's had him all this time or what they may have done to him."

"Joe will find out. Nicky was right about one thing….Joe has the connections to find out that information easier than the police do."

Hutch's eyes turned dark and cold at the mention of Nicky's name but he kept his feelings carefully concealed and held his tongue. There was need to upset Rachel Starsky any more than she already was by telling her that Nicky may have been involved in his own brother's disappearance. A thin smile tugged at his lips. He had a feeling that Durniak would make Nick very sorry for whatever part he may have played in this whole affair. From his brief meeting with the man, Hutch could sense his genuine concern for the Starsky family. His friendship with Michael Starsky dictated his debt of honor to protect his family from harm and that commitment would include his eldest son.

The rest of the day passed slowly. Hutch called Caption Dobey and reported what he'd discovered so far. He promised to get back in touch as soon as he knew more. He received a phone call from Joe Durniak shortly after supper that evening.

"Detective Hutchinson, I have most of the answers you were seeking." Durniak said without any preliminaries. "As I said, you and David have made some very powerful enemies over the years. The west coast connection contacted several of your more, shall we say, influential enemies and arranged for Davy to be sold to the highest bidder."

"Oh my god…." Hutch muttered, his heart starting to pound frantically in his chest as he thought about what that could mean for Starsky.

"The good news is that an associate of mine has agreed to sell me certain 'merchandise' that he no longer has any use for. He was very cooperative when I expressed an interest in obtaining the merchandise from him." Durniak said. Hutch knew immediately that the 'merchandise' that Durniak cryptically referred to was Starsky. He listened as Durniak continued, "I have been assured that the 'merchandise' is still viable but is in very poor condition. You will want to have it assessed immediately upon delivery."

"When will that be?" Hutch asked trying to keep the anxiety out of his voice.

"Sometime tomorrow afternoon. As soon as the details for delivery have been confirmed, I will contact you with the instructions for pickup."

"All I care about is the safe return of the 'merchandise,'" Hutch told him firmly

"Rest assured that once the product is safely delivered, I will pay for any necessary repairs and I will take the appropriate steps to make sure nothing like this ever happens again." Hutch didn't reply. He sensed that whoever the men were behind this whole affair they had just signed their own death warrants, including the west coast connection. Everyone of course, except for Nicky but he would still pay for his part in the whole affair. Hutch would make sure of that if Durniak didn't.

"Thank you." Hutch said with sincere gratitude.

"I did not do this for you, Detective Hutchinson. I did it for Davy and his mother. They've suffered enough….and now my debt is repaid to an old friend." Without any further comment, Durniak hung up the phone ending the conversation.


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8**

Hutch cautiously pulled his rental car up in front of the non-descript abandoned house on the lower east side. The entire neighborhood was made up of abandoned homes that were falling into neglect and disrepair. An ambulance with two paramedics inside pulled up behind him. Hutch had called them before leaving to come to this place where Durniak had told him he would find his missing partner. Hutch spoke to the paramedics briefly, telling them to stay in the ambulance until he made sure Starsky was actually inside the house. Hutch had a walkie-talkie that he would use to call them into the house as soon as he assessed the situation.

Hutch slowly walked up to the rickety front porch and stepped up to the front door. When he tried the door, he found it unlocked. Drawing his gun from beneath his jacket, he held it at the ready as he carefully pushed open the door and stepped into the house. There was a musty, unused smell in the air. The floor plan of the house included an upstairs and a basement. Hutch decided to start searching on the second floor and work his way down.

He climbed the stairway to the upper level, his eyes scanning his surroundings intently, alert for any signs of trouble or an unexpected ambush. Upstairs he found two bedrooms and a bath, all unused and vacant. From the dust on the floor, it was obviously that nobody had been in that part of the house for quite some time. Slowly, Hutch made his way back down the stairs.

The lower level of the house contained a living room and a kitchen. Both showed evidence of recent use by someone but there was still no sign of his missing partner. The only place left to check was the basement. As soon as Hutch opened the door that led down into the darkness of the cellar, an overwhelming smell drifted up and assaulted his senses. It was a sickening combination of odors: mold, stale sweat, blood, urine, vomit, feces, and decay. Hutch hesitated momentarily, his heart pounding with fear at what he would find at the bottom of those steps. His hand fumbled for a light switch. A dim light came on at the bottom of the steps, leaving the far corners of the room draped in deep shadows.

Breathing through his mouth, Hutch slowly walked down the steps. When he reached the bottom of the stairs, his eyes swept across the room, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the gloom and darkness. Off to the left of the staircase, he could make out a form that looked suspiciously like a body curled up tightly in a fetal position. As he moved closer to the silent huddled formhe felt his heart pounding harder and his mouth went dry.

The crumbled body lying on the ground bore little resemblance to Starsky. The only thing familiar about the battered body was the chocolate colored curls that hung dirty and tangled around the battered, sunken face.

"Starsky!" Hutch cried out, putting his gun back into his shoulder harness so he could reach out to touch the body lying before him.

Severe weight loss accented every bone under the tightly drawn, heavily bruised skin. Skin that was frighteningly cold to the touch. The battered body bore obvious signs of severe physical abuse and torture over a prolonged period of time. Besides the severe weight loss, the body bore open sores, cuts, burns, welts and lacerations in varying degrees of healing. The eyes were half-open, lifeless and unresponsive.

As Hutch knelt down beside the broken body, a faint fluttering in the frail chest and the faint whisper of breath against Hutch's cheek were the only visible signs that Starsky was still alive. Death was already tightening its grip on the damaged body, demanding the final victory. Frantically, Hutch dug the walkie-talkie out of his jacket and pressed the transmit button

"I FOUND HIM! GET DOWN HERE NOW! WE'RE IN THE BASEMENT!" He yelled into the transmitter to the paramedics waiting outside.

Without waiting for a reply, he dropped the walkie-talkie to the ground at his feet and gently eased Starsky's head and shoulders into his lap. "Hang on, Buddy….it's me…Hutch." He said in a soft, soothing voice "You're gonna be okay…you're safe now. Just hang on a little bit longer…just a little longer." He felt the tears burning his own eyes as he tried to choke back the lump in his throat. There was no response from the body cradled in his arms.

Hutch heard the rapid footsteps coming down the steps behind him and then the paramedics were there. Hutch barely noticed as they quickly accessed Starsky's condition and did what they could to prepare him for transport to the nearest hospital. They started two IVs immediately before gently lifting him onto the portable stretcher they had brought with them. They didn't need to tell Hutch that time was of the essence. He stumbled up the steps beside them, clutching Starsky's left hand tightly in his own, praying for another miracle like the one that had saved his life after Gunther's assassination attempt.

Ignoring his rental car, Hutch climbed into the back of the ambulance with one of the paramedics for the trip to the hospital. Now that they were out of the basement and in the ambulance, Hutch noticed the gray pallor to Starsky's skin and the blue coloring around his lips and the beds of his fingernails. He could also hear the rattle deep inside of Starsky's chest with each slow gasp of breath that he took. The death rattle that meant his lungs were filling with fluid, slowly squeezing the air out of his body. Silently, Hutch repeated the prayers he had learned in childhood to a god that he was no longer sure he believed in. Begging for Starsky's life to be spared one more time.

At the emergency entrance to the hospital, the paramedics rushed Starsky inside with Hutch following close behind. As they went through the swinging doors into the inner sanctum of the emergency room, a nurse stepped in front of Hutch, blocking his way. "I'm sorry, sir." She said "You can't go back there. You'll have to wait out here."

"I'm a cop! He's my partner!" Hutch snapped, trying to brush past her to follow his partner.

"I don't care who you are." The nurse said firmly, gently blocking his way. "You can't go in there. Go guard the waiting room."

Hutch sighed deeply and turned aside, knowing it was no use arguing. He couldn't afford to get kicked out of the hospital for making a scene. This wasn't Bay City. He didn't have any authority here. Dejectedly, he walked over to the waiting area and slumped down on one of the hard plastic seats. He knew that he should call Rachel and tell her that he had found Starsky but he wanted to wait until he knew exactly what kind of condition Starsky was in first. Hutch knew that Starsky may not make it; he was already knocking on heaven's door. Whoever had done this to him had wanted to make him suffer as much as humanly possible until death became a blessing that he would embrace with open arms. And they had taken six months of hell to do that.

Hutch leaned his head back against the wall and stared sightlessly at the ceiling. He was beyond exhaustion, physically, emotionally and mentally. He was barely holding on to his own sanity. The events of the past six months had taken their toil on him, leaving him an empty shell of a man who was almost beyond hope. The only thing that was keeping him from going over the edge was knowing that Starsky was still alive.

Finally, Hutch shoved himself to his feet and walked over to a bank of telephones. Digging some change out of his pocket, he dialed the operator and put in a call to Captain Dobey in Bay City. When Dobey's gruff voice came on the line, Hutch said,

"I found him."

"Starsky? Is he still alive?" Dobey asked in a concerned voice

"Barely." Hutch said, his voice almost breaking under the strain "I don't know if he's gonna make it this time, Captain…."

"You just hang in there, Hutchinson. We're all praying….for both of you." Dobey said solemnly. "Take as much time as you need…just keep me posted on his condition."

"I will. Thanks, Cap." Hutch said, hanging up without any further conversation with his superior. He hesitated again and then dug some more change out of his pocket. He decided to call Rachel after all. Starsky was still her son. She had the right to be here too. Taking a deep breath, he dropped the coins in the slot and dialed her phone number.

"Hello?" she answered breathlessly on the first ring

"I found him." Hutch told her "We're at Cedars."

"How bad is it?" Rachel asked, struggling to keep her own emotions under control.

"It's bad, Rachel….it's really bad. I don't know if I found him in time or not."

Hutch told her, his own voice shaking with emotion.

"I'm on my way." Rachel said, quickly hanging up before Hutch could object.

Hutch hung up the receiver and slowly made his way back over to the uncomfortable seats along the wall. The nurse behind the reception desk glanced at the tall blond warily. She could see the stress and strain on his face and the dejected slump of his shoulders. She'd seen the same reaction far too many times during her career as family members and friends waited anxiously for news about a loved one who was somewhere behind those swinging doors fighting for their lives. But there was something different about this man. She could feel his pain surrounding him like a glove and see it reflected deep in the depths of his ice blue eyes. It was so palpable that she felt a shiver go down her spine. For his sake, she hoped that whoever he was waiting for news about was going to make it. Sighing softly, she turned back to her own duties.

Hutch was lost so deeply in his own thoughts that he didn't notice when Rachel came rushing into the emergency room. Sinking into the chair beside him, she gently reached out and touched his shoulder. Hutch jerked, turning startled eyes to her face. He relaxed when he realized she was there. Without even thinking about it, Rachel wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into her comforting embrace. Hutch buried his face against her shoulder, finally giving in to the raging emotions inside of him. Rachel stroked his hair and whispered soothing nonsense words into his ear as the tall blond began to cry silently against her shoulder as the stress of the past few days overwhelmed him and he allowed himself to break down in her tender embrace.

Almost eight hours passed before a doctor finally came into the waiting room and said loudly "Is there anyone here for David Starsky?"

"Right here." Hutch said immediately, bounding to his feet and crossing the room to meet the doctor half way. "I'm his partner, Ken Hutchinson and this is his mother, Rachel Starsky."

"I'm Doctor Parton. Why don't we step into my office so we can talk privately?" the doctor said solemnly, gesturing towards a hallway to his left.

"Is he still alive?" Hutch demanded, needing to know the answer before he went with the doctor to his office.

"Let's go to my office and talk there," The doctor said firmly, leading the way to a office at the end of the hallway. Rachel and Hutch followed him silently, worried about whatever news he was about to tell them, knowing in their hearts that it wouldn't be good.

Once they were in the office and the door was closed securely behind them, Hutch turned to the doctor again and demanded "Is he still alive or not?"

"He's alive but we had to put him on total life support." The doctor said ominously, as he took a seat behind his desk. He gestured for Hutch and Rachel to sit down. Once they were seated, the doctor sighed softly and said "I don't know what the hell happened to him but it obvious that's he's been severely abused and tortured over a long period of time. He was dying when he was brought in here….it's a miracle that he's even still alive."

"It's a long story, doc," Hutch said grimly without going into any further details about what had happened to Starsky. "He's a cop and this is someone's way of getting even."

"Well, they did a pretty good job of that," The doctor said dryly "He was so weak we almost lost him three times during surgery. His organs were already starting to shut down. If you'd brought him in here even a few minutes later, he wouldn't have made it….he was that close to death when he came in here." The doctor paused and looked at Hutch and Rachel questioningly "I saw the scars on his chest and abdomen. He's been this close to death before, hasn't he?"

"Yes. Eighteen months ago." Hutch replied, "He took five slugs to his chest and belly. He suffered massive damage."

"I saw evidence of some of the previous damage to his internal organs during surgery. I have to be honest with you….I can't make any promises. We could still lose him. He's very weak and he's not breathing on his own. He's severely underweight, severely dehydrated and some of his injuries are seriously infected. That infection has gone into his blood stream and that alone is a life threatening condition. Combined with his overall physical condition, the various injuries he's suffered, the damage his body had been subjected too, his chances of survival are very poor."

"But as long as he's alive….there's still a chance….isn't there?" Rachel asked with a sob in her voice.

"His condition is critical. His body is so weak that he needs the machines right now just to keep him alive. I've had him put into a medically induced coma to give his body time to rest and to start healing. We are pushing fluids as quickly as possible and trying to bring the infection under control. We treated the various injuries as best we could and at the moment, all we can do is wait. The next seventy-two hours are critical. If he makes that long, he might have a fighting chance. There is evidence of some old fractures that were never treated that will have to be addressed at some point but that's going to have to wait until he's a lot stronger than he is right now."

"Can we see him?" Hutch asked anxiously, trying to absorb everything the doctor had just told them.

"He's still in recovery. As soon as he's settled into the I.C.U., I'll have a nurse come and get you. You'll be able to see him for a few minutes, then I suggest you both go home and get some rest."

Hutch nodded and helped Rachel to her feet. They left the office and went back to the waiting area to continue their lonely vigil. Starsky's fate once more lay in God's hands.


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER 9**

Hutch and Rachel sat beside the bed in the I.C.U. watching over the man they both loved. Rachel fought back the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes as she looked at the ravished body of her oldest son. His gaunt face and thin frame was mottled with bruises in various degrees of healing. The open sores and lacerations were covered with soft bandages and gauze pads. Two IV's ran into his left arm. One was a saline solution to help re-hydrate him as quickly as the possible and the contained the strong antibiotics being used to fight the infection that had taken over his blood steam. A second solution on the opposite side of the bed fed directly into a vein just below his collarbone and supplied his body with a highly concentrated nutritional supplement to keep his body nourished as it fought to heal.

Monitors and other machines surrounded his bed, keeping track of his vital signs and monitoring his heartbeat. A tube down his throat forced air into his lungs, breathing for him until his body was strong enough to do it on its own. An empty bag was hooked on the bottom rail of the bed meant to collect the urine that his failing systems had stopped producing.

Hutch stared at his partner, remembering another time and another place, when he had kept this same lonely vigil waiting for his best friend to either live or die after being shot by Gunter's hired hit men. What made it worse this time was the fact that he had already lived the past six months of his life believing that Starsky was already dead while his friend had spent those six months being tortured and abused in unthinkable ways, leaving behind an empty shell of the man he used to be.

"No matter how old he gets….David will always be my little boy." Rachel said her voice heavy with sadness. She looked at Hutch forlornly looking for answers to questions that had no answers. "How could anyone do something like this to another human being?"

"I don't know…" Hutch admitted, "I just don't know."

"God gave us a miracle when he survived before, then he gave us another miracle when you found him this time…" Rachel said softly "Let's pray that he spare just one more…." She looked at Hutch with a soft smile "He's lucky to have someone like you watching for him. A friend who loves him as much as you do." She glanced back at her eldest son "And if love is enough, then he'll pull through this too…."

The door to the room opened softly and a nurse looked. "Detective Hutchinson?" she said quietly "There's a call for you at the nurse's station. A Captain Dobey."

"Thank you." Hutch acknowledged. He put a comforting hand on Rachel's shoulder as he shoved himself to his feet "I'll be right back." Rachel nodded and turned her attention back to her son's heavily bruised and battered face. She said a silent prayer for God to save her son's life once more.

Fifteen minutes later, Hutch came back into the room. He was quiet and subdued, a scowl on his face as he resumed his seat beside Rachel. Frowning slightly, she reached out to touch his arm gently and said quietly "Ken, is everything all right? That phone call wasn't bad news, was it?"

"That depends on how you look at it." Hutch said, his mouth tightening into a hard thin line. He sighed and took a deep breath "James Gunther was killed in his prison cell last night."

"Gunther? That's the man who hired those two men to try and kill David."

"That's right. And whoever took Gunther out was probably paid quite a bit to make the hit." His eyes darkened "The prison officials found proof in Gunther's cell that he was the money man for what happened to Starsky this time."

"The West Coast connection." Rachel whispered

"That's right."

"I know it's a sin to speak ill of the dead but I'm not sorry that man is dead." Rachel said grimly.

"Neither am I. If anyone ever deserved to die, it was Gunther." Hutch said gruffly. "Hopefully they'll be able to find something in his papers that will tell us who paid the highest price to get their hands on Starsky."

"Joe had him killed, didn't he?"

"Probably. He said he'd take of it…" Hutch said suddenly feeling exhausted, both physically and mentally. He knew he should feel something, anything, but all he could feel was empty.

"Why don't you go get some coffee and something to eat?" Rachel suggested, sensing Hutch's mood. "You need to keep your strength up…for David's sake." She smiled encouragingly "Go on. I'll be okay." She patted his hand gently as their eyes met, communicating silently much as he often did with her son. Hutch nodded and stood up.

"Can I get you anything?" he asked

"Maybe some coffee."

Hutch nodded as he turned to leave the room. With one last glance at his silent partner, he opened the door and stepped into the hall. He went down to the cafeteria where he managed to choke down a chicken salad sandwich and a stale cup of coffee. When he went back up the I.C.U., he saw Nick lounging at the nurse's station flirting with the pretty nurse on duty.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Hutch growled as he stepped up behind the younger Starsky.

"Hey, Hutch…" Nicky said turning around and giving Hutch one of his phony plastic smiles. "I just came by to see how Davy was doing."

Hutch's temper flared at Nicky's gall. Without any warning, he grabbed the younger man's shirt with both hands and slammed him back against the wall beside the nurse's station. Pinning him there with his heavier weight, he put his right forearm against the stunned man's throat and glared into his eyes with a cold deadly stare. "You have no business here!" Hutch growled, "I know all about your part in selling out your own brother!" He watched as Nicky's eyes widened in alarm and more than a little fear at the tall blond's rage.

"Hey, Hutch…come on, man…" Nicky spluttered, "It's not what you think. I had no idea they were going to do something like this to him!"

"You're a lying piece of shit!" Hutch snarled "And I'd like nothing more than to tear you apart with my bare hands! But I'll let Joey handle that…I'm sure he's got something more suitable in mind for you…he already had Gunther hit in prison." Nicky started to say something but stopped when Hutch pressed his forearm harder against his throat "But I'm warning you…if I ever catch you anywhere near your brother again….I'll kill you myself! You got that, you sorry piece of garbage?" He released his hold on Nicky and stepped back "Now get your sorry ass out of here and don't come back!"

Nick didn't need to be told twice. Without a backward glance, he hurried down the hallway and disappeared. The young nurse stood there staring at the tall blond with a combination of fear and admiration. She pulled her hand back from the phone where she had been ready to call hospital security. She'd heard enough of the confrontation to understand the emotions behind it. She didn't think that Nick Starsky would be back anytime soon. She watched as the tall blond walked away towards the I.C.U. room at the end of the hall.


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER 10**

Over the next week, Starsky remained in a medically induced coma, oblivious to his surroundings. Hutch was by his side constantly, refusing to leave except for brief trips to the bathroom or for a stroll down the hall to the coffee machine to stretch the kinks out of his legs. The nurses soon learned to work around him and stopped complaining about his presence in the room. Rachel was there too, usually during the day, sitting at her son's side and singing to him gently in Hebrew as she gently stroked his arm or caressed his cheek.

As Starsky started to regain some strength, his body started resisting the respirator that forced air in and out of his lungs. It set off a shrill alarm as he fought against the machine and struggled to breathe on his own. Adjustments were made until finally the doctor decided that he didn't need the respirator any longer, he was breathing well enough on his own. That was a major improvement as Starsky continued to defy the odds that the doctors had once more had given him concerning his chances of survival.

The bruises were fading and his gaunt face was starting to fill out, slowly returning his features to a more familiar sight. Rachel and Hutch were both sitting by his side when the doctor came in to examine him as he did every morning around ten. Hutch took Rachel out into the hall while the doctor did his exam and changed Starsky's bandages. There were some things a mother shouldn't have to watch being done to her son.

Finally, the doctor joined them in the hallway just outside of his room. "He's getting stronger every day." He told them with an encouraging smile. "We've finally got the infection under control and his kidneys are starting to function normally again. He's not out of the woods yet but I think we can start bringing him out of the coma."

"How soon will he wake up?" Rachel asked, longing to see her son's eyes again, wanting to tell him that he was safe now.

"It will probably take a few more days after we discontinue the medication. In the meantime, just continue to talk to him….reassure him that he's safe and that he's being cared for. He may be able to hear you even if he can't respond yet."

"What about his other injuries?" Hutch asked

"The bruises and lacerations are healing nicely. Some of the burns and open sores will take a little longer and may require some mild skin grafting to prevent excess scarring. As I told you previously, there is evidence that some ribs, his right collarbone and his right leg were all broken at some point and then healed improperly due to lack of medical treatment. His ribs and collarbone aren't a major issue, the breaks were minor and they did knit together fairly well. They shouldn't cause any permanent damage." The doctor paused to make sure they had understood everything he had just told them and then he continued

"His leg, on the other hand, will have to be re-broken and set properly or he'll have a permanent limp. He's also gonna to need some physical therapy at some point to help rebuild his muscle tone and restore full mobility. If he continues to improve, I'd like to take care of his leg sometime next week. One of the best bone specialists in the country will be doing the surgery." He smiled faintly "It seems that David has a very influential benefactor taking care of his medical expenses."

"As long as my son continues to be well cared for that is all I care about." Rachel said firmly, cutting short the conversation before the doctor could ask any embarrassing questions.

"The source of the money shouldn't concern you," Hutch pointed out "As long as you and the hospital get paid for your services."

"I assure you that I have no concern where the money is coming from….I only want the best care possible for David while I'm his primary physician. All I was trying to say is that he's very lucky to have someone who has the money and the influence to hire specialists to oversee his care." Without another word, the doctor turned and walked away to tend to his other patients while Rachel and Hutch went back into Starsky's room to continue their bedside vigil.

"I suppose I should be grateful that Joe is paying for all of this." Rachel said as she slumped down in her chair beside Hutch "And that he's insisting on the best….I just wish I didn't have to indebted to him this way…."

"I know." Hutch said "But if it wasn't for him, we wouldn't have found David in time to save his life….we'd have all gone on believing that he was already dead."

Rachel was silent for several minutes then she looked at Hutch intently and said in a calm, almost toneless voice "How much did Nicky have to do with what happened to his brother?"

Hutch looked at her startled by her question. Then he realized that he shouldn't have been surprised to learn that she had suspicions about her youngest son's involvement. Rachel Starsky was not a stupid woman. She had more strength and insight then most women and seemed to know both of her sons inside and out.

"Maybe you should ask Nick that question," Hutch said somberly not sure how much he should tell her

"I would…if I could find him," She said with a thin smile, "He seems to have disappeared….at least temporarily."

"I'm sure he'll show up again….sooner or later."

"He did have something to do with what happened to David, didn't he?" she asked in a determined voice.

"He apparently told whoever grabbed David where and when to find him that day," Hutch told her. "I think thst he was also the one who sent me the package with David's things in it."

"You mean to tell me that Nicky has known all along that Davy was alive and he didn't say anything to anyone?" She said the hard edge of anger evident in her voice. "I always knew that Nicky didn't care anything about anyone but himself…but to do something like this to his own brother…..that's just inexcusable." Her face turned dark and cold "May he rot in hell for his part in all of this. He's no longer my son."

"I'm sure that Durniak will make sure that Nick pays for his mistakes," Hutch said flatly, unconcerned with Nick Starsky's welfare.

"I have no doubt that he will," Rachel agreed "And Nicky deserves whatever he gets." She sighed softly, her eyes taking on a far away look "I tried so hard to keep Nicky out of trouble….I even thought about sending him away just like I did David….but I couldn't….I just couldn't send another child away. But I couldn't protect him from the streets anymore than I could protect David before he left."

"It's not your fault that Nicky turned out the way he did," Hutch said gently, reaching out to rub the back of her hand soothingly.

"Down deep where it really counts….David and Nicky have always been totally different. David's always had more inner strength and courage then Nicky ever did," Rachel said, a trace of sadness creeping into her voice. "Even if I had sent him away too….Nicky would still have found a way to get into trouble….it's in his nature. He wants everything the easy way. He always has." She smiled tenderly at her oldest son and said "At least I still have David and he's twice the man Nicky is." She looked at Hutch with a fond smile "You're more of a brother to him than Nicky ever has been or ever will be. David knows that and he loves you for it…..."

"I love him too…" Hutch said, trying to keep his voice calm and controlled. "I should never have given up on him…"

"You didn't give up on him…" Rachel said "You had no way of knowing that he wasn't on that plane….none of us did." She clasped Hutch's hand tightly "And once you knew that he wasn't….you did everything possible to find him before it was too late. I will always be grateful to you for that. You gave me back my son….you saved my David….."

Hutch blinked back the sharp sting of tears that threatened to spill. Rachel had no idea how much her words meant to him. Hutch had a tendency to shoulder all the blame whenever anything happened to his partner, even when he knew there was no way he could have prevented it. He just prayed that Starsky would pull through this without any further complications.


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER 11**

Hutch sat beside Starsky watching him carefully. It had been two days since they had discontinued the medication that was keeping him in a drug induced coma and he was finally showing the first signs of trying to fight his way to consciousness. A twitch of his cheek, a barely noticeable flexing of his fingers, the gentle rolling of his eyes underneath the closed lids. As he inched closer and closer to consciousness, the heart monitor beside the bed tracked his progress too, slowly increasing as his heart beat faster, a sign that he was becoming mildly agitated.

"Come on, Starsk…." Hutch murmured to him reassuringly, as he gently patted the back of his left hand. "You can do it….open those eyes for me…." He lifted his hand and gently ran his fingers through the thick unruly curls, smiling as he let one twist around his fingers. "Come on, Starsky…..wake up for me."

Rachel would be there soon and Hutch hoped that Starsky would be awake by the time she got there. She would be so pleased and happy. But Starsky seemed to have some ideas of his own and wasn't about to be rushed. For the past two days, both Rachel and Hutch had reassured him constantly that he was safe now and in the hospital but there was no way of knowing if he had even heard them or understood what they were trying to tell him.

Hutch caught his breath and held it as Starsky's eyes opened just a slit, enough that the tall blond could see just a hint of sapphire blue. "Starsky?" he whispered cautiously, his own heart pounding with excitement "Come on, buddy….open your eyes. It's me….it's Hutch…"

Slowly, Starsky's eyes finally opened the rest of the way. But there was something wrong. Something terribly wrong. Those sapphire eyes stared sightless at the ceiling with no signs of recognition or even awareness in those cobalt depths. Hutch moved so that he knew he was directly in Starsky's line of vision but there was still no change in the dark haired man's level of alertness or awareness of his surroundings. Hutch's hand trembled as he reached out and rang the call button for a nurse.

The nurse and Rachel both came into the room at the same time. "David!" Rachel cried out when she realized that her son was awake, hurrying to his side and gently stroking his cheek. When he failed to respond to her or even acknowledge her presence, she looked at Hutch with a worried and frightened expression on her face. "What's wrong with him?"

"I don't know." Hutch admitted, meeting her eyes with a worried and concerned gaze of his own.

"I'll page the doctor." The nurse said, backing out of the room.

"David….baby….it's mama…." Rachel said in a soft cooing voice, stroking his cheek again and trying to get him to respond to her. But Starsky remained the same, staring at the ceiling and unresponsive even to the touch of his mother's hand.

The doctor came into the room and after a quick look at Starsky to access the situation, he suggested to Rachel and Hutch that they go to the cafeteria and get some coffee or something to eat. When they were finished in the cafeteria, he instructed them to go to the waiting room. He would talk to them as soon as possible about Starsky's condition. .He mentioned running some tests and a consultation with another doctor. His words did little to ease Rachel or Hutch's worried mind but they did as he asked.

Hospitals and doctors are notorious for making people wait, dramatically increasing both their stress level and their impatience. Unable to just sit still and wait for the doctor to tell them what was going on; Hutch paced the floor in the waiting room like a restless animal in a cage. Rachel finally sighed softly and said gently, "Hutch, please sit down….you're going to wear a hole in the carpet." She understood the tall blond's frustration and anxiety. She was just as anxious and frustrated herself. She had seen the total lack of responsiveness in her son's usually expressive eyes, and she knew that something was seriously wrong with her eldest child.

Finally, Doctor Parton and another doctor neither Hutch nor Rachel recognized joined them in the waiting room. "Let's go to my office, shall we?" Doctor Parton suggested before Rachel or Hutch could ask the doctors any questions. Once they were all settled in the doctor's office, Dr. Parton introduced his colleague "This is Doctor Adams. He's our chief of Psychiatry here at the hospital. I think it would be simpler for me to let him explain what seems to be going on with David."

Hutch and Rachel immediately focused their attention on the other doctor. He looked at them and smiled warmly. In a deep, baritone voice, he said, "From what I've been told about what happened to David in the past six months, his current mental state is no surprise. To put it simply, in order to deal with the pain and abuse that he was subjected to over such a prolonged period, his mind shut down. He retreated to a place deep inside of himself where the pain could no longer reach him…..and now he's lost his way. He doesn't know how to find his way back out."

"But he'll be all right, won't he?" Rachel asked anxiously "I mean with a little time and love…..once he realizes he's not in danger any longer…."

"I wish I could tell you that things would turn out that way for your sake and for Davids. Unfortunately, I can't guarantee that. The mind is a very complex and mysterious organ and in situations like this where the person has voluntarily retreated in order to survive….sometimes they never find their way back."

"That's not going to happen to my son!" Rachel said firmly, her voice rising slightly as she stared down the two doctors in front of her. "Not now….not after all he's been through…"

"I'll be keeping a close eye on him over the next several days. In a week or so, we'll re-evaluate his condition and I'll be better qualified to give you an opinion at that time." Doctor Adams told them

"What should we do in the meantime?" Hutch demanded, glaring at the doctors with ice blue eyes that bore both suspicion and contempt.

"Continue to talk to him, touch him, reassure him that he's safe and that you're there with him. Even though he may appear to be completely unresponsive, our preliminary tests indicate that he can hear you and he can follow simple instructions…he just isn't capable of communicating or acknowledging his surroundings at this time."

"Can we go back to his room now?" Rachel asked

"In a little while. We're going to move him to a private room on the second floor. His condition has improved enough that he no longer needs to be in the ICU." Doctor Parton informed her. "And early next week, I would like to go ahead and schedule the surgery on his leg, as well as get started on some simple range of motion exercises." He smiled encouragingly "Why don't you go on down to the second floor waiting room and I'll have a nurse come and get you as soon as we have David settled in his new room?"


	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER 12**

"Come on, Starsk…" Hutch said in a soft gentle voice, a pleading tone creeping into his words. "I'm getting tired of talking to myself here. Say something to me, partner…" he locked ice blue eyes with cobalt blue, but the second set of eyes just stared past his shoulder with that same blank stare they'd held for the past three days.

It was hard to sit there, trying desperately to get some kind of response from him and getting nothing in return. The flesh was warm, the chest moved up and down with each breath he took, he obeyed simple verbal commands, but the spirit of the man, Starsky's very essence, was no longer there. All that lay in that bed was an empty shell of a man where Starsky's vibrant, exuberant personality used to dwell. The blank stares and eerie silence was bad enough but that was nothing compared to the way he flinched and pulled away when anyone touched him. Hutch didn't know how to reach him, how to pull him back into the world of reality instead of the dark recesses of his mind where his spirit had taken refuge.

Starsky had been moved into a private room and most of the machines that had surrounded him in the ICU had been removed, except for the IV that still fed a saline solution into his arm to keep him hydrated, the tube that fed him intravenously, and the catheter that eased the load on his badly bruised kidneys. The gaunt face had filled out but his ribs and hipbones still showed far too clearly through his tightly stretched skin. Most of the bruises were finally fading, most of them no longer a vivid bluish black but a mottled yellowish green with a hint of brown. The doctor planned to remove most of the stitches from the various lacerations and cuts in a few days. He still had some open sores and a rash on various parts of his body but they were slowly healing. Physically, the doctors were pleased with his progress. But they were still concerned with his current mental status.

Hutch continued to stay at the hospital, constantly at his partner's side. Touched by his concern for his friend's welfare, the nursing staff had gone out of their way to accommodate the tall blond. A second bed had been moved into the room so that Hutch would have a place to sleep at night instead of dozing fitfully in the chair he sat in during the day. Having Hutch there actually took some of the load off the nursing staff since he insisted on tending to most of the brunet's personal needs himself, including his sponge baths and repositioning him in bed every two hours to prevent bed sores. More than one nurse had commented on the loving care that the big blond gave to his injured friend.

During each shift, one of the nurses would sit with Starsky for an hour so that Hutch could go to the bathroom, shower or just stretch his legs. But there were only certain nurses that Hutch would entrust that privilege to and if none of them were working on a particular shift, then he would refuse to leave his friend's side unless Rachel was there to sit with her son. His fierce protectiveness of the other man was apparent to everyone involved in the brunet's care. More than one nurse had been brought to tears by the pain they saw reflected in those ice blue eyes when his friend failed to respond to him or pulled away from his touch.

Hutch glanced up as the door to Starsky's room opened and Rachel came in. Smiling, she handed Hutch a plate covered with foil. She always brought him food when she came to spend the day with him and Starsky. Hutch usually saved whatever she brought him for his supper meal. One of the nurses always made sure that the hospital kitchen sent him a breakfast tray and a lunch tray on the patient's food cart.

"Good morning, sweetheart." Rachel said, kissing Starsky's cheek tenderly. "How are you today?" She gently ran her fingertips down the side of his face before sitting down in the other chair beside Hutch. "No change?" she asked softly, already knowing the answer from the haunted look in Hutch's eyes.

"No…" Hutch admitted with a trace of sadness lingering in his voice. "I keep trying to get through to him but nothing seems to reach him…."

"It will…." Rachel said confidently "He knows we're here….I know he does."

"I hope so. I just wish he'd talk to me."

"You need a break. Why don't you come home with me? Just for tonight?"

"I can't." Hutch said firmly, looking at Starsky fondly "I have to be here in case he comes around…..I don't want him to be alone if he comes out of it."

"I understand." Rachel said with a soft smile, "David has no idea just how lucky he is to have a friend like you."

"He'd do the same thing for me."

"I know he would. David's always been like that when it comes to the people he loves. He has a way of getting under your skin until you can't imagine your life without him in it."

"Yeah….I know that feeling." Hutch admitted with a thin grin. A sob caught in his throat "It's my fault he's like this….I should have known that he was still alive….I should have sensed it. I should have been looking for him all this time instead of trying to lose myself in the bottle because I thought that he was dead."

"Ken Hutchinson, you stop talking like that right now!" Rachel admonished him "You had no way of knowing he wasn't on that plane…..none of us did!" a trace of coldness crept into her voice "Except for Nicholas and he didn't care enough to tell anyone the truth." Her voice turned gentle and soft "David would never blame you for what happened and you know that, so stop blaming yourself." She reached out to touch his hand and patted it fondly "You can't protect David twenty-four-hours a day...so stop beating yourself up because of what happened."

"I wish I could." Hutch said, blinking back the sharp burn of tears that gathered in his eyes. "I just need him back…ya know?"

"I know…..and we'll get him back…no matter how long it takes. You have to believe that. I do."

"I'll let you believe that for both of us." Hutch told her with a smile. "I'm going to get some coffee. Do you want some?"

"No, thank you. And take your time, dear….you need a break. David and I will be just fine while you're gone."

Hutch nodded as he left the room, leaving Starsky to the loving care of his mother while he was gone. Grabbing a cup of coffee from the hospital cafeteria, he went outside to an enclosed courtyard where he sat down on one of the benches, enjoying the sunshine and the fresh air. He needed to call Captain Dobey with an update on Starsky's condition but he decided that could wait until later in the week. If anything happened before then that Hutch needed to know about, Dobey knew how to get in touch with him through Rachel.

Hutch sat there for almost two hours before finally returning to Starsky's room.

As soon as he opened the door and went inside, he could tell that something had happened to upset Rachel. She turned to look at him as he entered, her eyes dark with anger. Eyes that looked so much like Starsky's when he was angry that it was unnerving. A quick glance at the bed assured Hutch that Starsky seemed to be the same. There was no noticeable change in his condition.

"What happened?" Hutch asked anxiously as he took his seat beside her.

"That damn psychiatrist!" Rachel spat out, barely holding on to her anger. "He wants to transfer David to the psychiatric unit!"

"You can't let him do that!" Hutch said, his own anger flaring. "If they do that then Starsky will just give up. He won't even try to get better! All we need is a little more time to get through to him!"

"Don't worry….I told him that there was no way I would allow it." Rachel said in a fiercely protective voice "That if he even tried something like that then I'd file a lawsuit against him and this hospital so fast his head would spin."

"I bet he loved that." Hutch said with an amused chuckle. Rachel might seem like the gentle grandmotherly type but when she was riled, she was a true Starsky. Her temper matched that of her son any day of the week.

"He wasn't very happy." Rachel admitted, "Doctor Parton said after they do the surgery to fix his leg, that David shouldn't have to be in the hospital too much longer after that. He expects me to agree to have him released to a long-term care facility if he's still not responding to anyone when the time comes. But I told him I wouldn't agree to that either." She smiled thinly "He told me I didn't know what I was getting into if I took David home and tried to care for him twenty-four-hours a day in his present condition."

"What did you tell him when he said that?" Hutch asked with a grin

"Let's just say it's a good thing he doesn't understand Yiddish. I also told him the same thing that I told the other doctor."

"I'm sorry I missed all that." Hutch said with a hearty laugh, his mind pulling up the image of the petite woman taking on the two renowned and respected doctors.

"David's been through enough…." She said in a fiercely determined voice "I'm not about to let a couple of doctors tell me what's best for my son just because they don't think he's going to get any better." She had a firm stubborn set to her jaw that Hutch recognized far too well "He's coming home with me where he belongs."

"And you won't be alone." Hutch said his own voice just as firm and determined "Because I plan on staying just as long as it takes…..until we get the old Starsky back again." They both fell into silence as they let their gaze fondly fall on the man they swore to protect and care for to the best of their ability for the rest of his life if necessary.


	13. Chapter 13

**CHAPTER 13**

Hutch nodded as the attractive young woman ushered him into Joe Durniak's inner sanctum. Starsky was in surgery having the necessary repairs done to his right leg. He would be in surgery most of the morning and in the recovery room for most of the afternoon, so Hutch decided this was as good a time as any for another meeting with Durniak.

Starsky was still locked away in that eerie silent world of his own choosing but that morning, Hutch had noticed that Starsky's eyes seemed to track the tall blond as he moved around the room instead of that blank listless stare he'd had on his face for almost two weeks. He still didn't respond to Hutch when he tried talking to him or show any signs of recognition in those sapphire eyes but tracking Hutch's movements was a definite improvement in his condition. Hutch prayed that meant that Starsky was slowly coming out of the prison of his own mind.

Durniak glanced up from his desk as Hutch entered the room and gestured for him to sit down. He didn't seem to be that surprised to see the tall blond again. In his distinctive gravely voice, he said, "Detective Hutchinson, to what do I owe the honor of your company? Davy is doing as well as can be expected, yes?"

"Yes…he's in surgery this morning having some repairs done to his leg."

"Then why are you here, Detective?" Durniak asked in a slightly annoyed voice "I assumed that our business had been concluded now that you have found Davy and he's receiving the medical care he needs."

"I wanted to thank you for everything you've done. I would never have found him without your help." Hutch said humbly

"I didn't do it for you, Detective. I did it for Davy and his mother…to repay an old debt of honor that was long overdue."

"I know you had your own reasons for helping me but I still wanted to thank you and to tell you how grateful I am for all you've done for my partner."

"You're welcome. Perhaps someday you will be able to repay the debt by doing me a favor." Durniak said with a faint smile tugging at his mouth.

"Where did you send Nicky?" Hutch asked, changing the topic unexpectedly.

Durniak raised his eyebrows questioningly. "Do you really care?"

"I'd like to know for Rachel's sake. She doesn't need to worry about another son right now."

"Rest assured that Nicky is alive and well. He just took a little trip is all until Davy is better. When he returns, he has a job waiting for him where I will be able to keep a close eye on him to make sure he stays out of trouble." Durniak said "He's caused his mother enough grief. When he returns he will also have a new respect for both his mother and his brother and for family loyalty and honor."

"I'm sure he will." Hutch said acknowledging the unspoken message behind the old gangster's words. He suspected that Nicky was learning the meaning of respect the hard way. "What about Gunther?"

Durniak looked at Hutch calmly, obviously debating if he wanted to answer the question or not. Finally, he smiled thinly and said "James Gunther was a parasite….a cancer that needed to be eliminated. If he had lived….he would have continued to be a threat to you and to David both."

"What about the man who bought Starsky from Gunther and did this to him?" Hutch demanded. He knew he was pressing his luck but he needed to know for his own peace of mind that the man who did this to his partner was going to pay for it.

"That is also being taken care of even as we speak." Durniak said slowly "The man who paid for David was much like Gunther. He didn't dirty his hands by actually harming David himself, he had his 'associates' do that for him. The men who were directly responsible for David's injuries have already been eliminated. The man who put up the highest bid for David knows that he's next." He smiled coldly "Actually, this man only wanted David to get even with you. He hates you for trying to take away what he considered his property and for bringing his empire to its knees."

Hutch's eyes widened with alarm and his mouth suddenly felt as if it were stuffed with cotton. Final pieces of the puzzle slowly clicked together in his mind. In a barely audible voice, he said "Ben Forestt?"

"Another parasite…..a cancer that would have remained a constant danger to you and to David if he were allowed to get with away with his part in all of this." Durniak said quietly, his steady gaze never leaving Hutch's face. "Fortunately, accidents are very easy to arrange in prison. Now you two are safe…..at least from these two powerful enemies…..but there are still others out there that remain a danger to both of you. You'll have to deal with them on your own, I'm afraid." He looked at Hutch carefully, gauging his reaction to the truths he had just revealed. Apparently satisfied with Hutch's response to the information, he deftly changed the subject. "The doctors have informed me that David will be recovered enough physically to be released from the hospital soon. What plans does Rachel have for when that happens? I know she has refused to let him be transferred to a long term care facility."

"She's taking him home and caring for him there until he gets better. And I will be staying here and helping her for as long as I can." Hutch replied

"She's keeping him here in New York instead of taking him back to California?"

"For now. He's not strong enough to return to California yet."

"That may be for the best. I can continue to protect him better here than out on the west coast."

"I thought you said he was no longer in danger."

"He isn't….not in the way you mean at least. But until he recovers mentally….he will still be in a very vulnerable situation."

"No matter what it takes…or how long it takes…I'm going to make sure he recovers completely." Hutch said firmly

Durniak chuckled softly "I have no doubt that you will…..even if it's just by your sheer tenacity. David is blessed to have someone like you for his partner….and as his friend." Durniak's eyes clouded for a moment "Don't ever take the value of that friendship for granted…..or you'll regret it someday." He rose to his feet and held out his hand to the tall blond "I'm pleased to have met you, Detective Hutchinson." Hutch rose to his feet gracefully and the two men exchanged a firm handshake. "I see no reason for us to meet again. You have the answers you sought…..go and take care of your partner."

Hutch nodded solemnly and left the room without another word, hurrying back to the hospital so he could be there when Starsky was returned to his room. He decided not to tell Rachel about his meeting with Durniak. He had the answers he needed and telling Rachel too many details would be pointless.


	14. Chapter 14

**CHAPTER 14**

_Hutch walked through the darkness, the night so thick he couldn't see his hand in front of his face. Where the hell was he? His heart pounded with fear of the unknown, the tiny hairs on the back of his neck standing on end. Up ahead he could see a faint light that grew stronger as he got closer. He found himself in a small clearing with a campfire burning in the middle of it. A man was sitting in front of the fire, hunched forward with his arms wrapped around himself as if he were in pain. _

"_Hello?" Hutch said, slowly moving closer to the fire. "Can you help me? Where am I?"_

"_Welcome to hell, Hutch…." The other man said in a soft quiet voice that sent a chill down Hutch's spine. Starsky's voice. _

"_S-s-s-tarsk?" Hutch stuttered "Is that you?"_

_The man slowly turned his head to look at Hutch with sapphire eyes that burned with an inner fire and intensity that was unmistakable. "Go away, Hutch….you don't belong here."_

"_I don't even know where here is." Hutch said, his mouth suddenly feeling as if it were filled with cotton. _

"_You're in my mind, Hutch." Starsky told him with a thin smile. "And I don't want you there anymore…"_

"_Why not?"_

"_Because I'm staying here….you can't…you have to go back."_

"_Not without you."_

"_I can't go back, Hutch…..I'm lost….I don't know how to get back." Starsky said in a sad, forlorn voice._

"_I'll help you."_

"_You can't, Hutch…nobody can."_

"_I'm not leaving you here alone…."_

"_It's too late, Hutch….it's safer here than it is to go back with you." Before Hutch could stop him, Starsky stood up and disappeared into the darkness. _

Hutch jerked awake, his heart pounding in his chest. He blinked his eyes, confused and disoriented. It took several seconds for him to realize that he had been dreaming. But it had seemed so real. It was if he could still feel Starsky's presence lingering in his mind. His eyes darted to the still figure of his best friend sleeping in the hospital bed beside him.

Starsky's long dark lashes brushed his cheeks, his eyes moving rapidly beneath the lids. He was obviously dreaming. Hutch could hear the soft whimpers coming from his throat. Hutch shoved himself out of bed and quickly moved to his partner's side. He could see the light sheen of sweat that covered Starsky's face and see the tight lines around the corners of his mouth.

"Hey, buddy…." Hutch said quietly, gently running the back of his knuckles down the side of Starsky's face "Relax…It's Hutch. I'm here. You're dreaming…that's all…"

"Safer here…can't go back…." Starsky's voice whispered, raspy and strained from disuse. Hutch caught his breath as Starsky repeated words eerily similar to the ones he had uttered in Hutch's dream. He whimpered again, reminding Hutch of an animal caught in a trap and unable to understand its own pain.

"Starsk, it's me. Hutch." Hutch said a little louder, reaching out to grasp his friend's shoulder tightly. "You're in the hospital…you're safe now…."

"Nooooo…" Starsky whimpered again without opening his eyes. "No more….pleaeeeee…no more."

"Starsky!" Hutch said more sharply, trying to break through the cobwebs in Starsky's mind, needing desperately for him to respond. "You're dreaming! Wake up!"

Starsky's eyes remained closed but he stopped whimpering and seemed to relax, falling back into a natural sleep undisturbed by his nightmare. Hutch frowned as he looked down at his dark haired friend's relaxed face. The tall blond wasn't sure what had just happened. He prayed that this was the breakthrough he'd been hoping for, that Starsky was finally coming out from wherever he had retreated.

Once he was certain that Starsky was sleeping comfortably and no longer dreaming, Hutch returned to his own bed. But sleep eluded him as he lay there thinking about his own strange dream. He found himself wondering if it had really been a dream. He and Starsky had always shared an unspoken, almost psychic bond. Was that what had happened? Had their minds connected on some sub-conscious level in a dream? Hutch sighed, his logical mind telling him that such a thing was impossible but his heart telling him that he had 'felt' Starsky reaching out to him in every part of his being. Finally, Hutch fell back into a restless sleep.

He was awakened by the nurse's aide bringing in their breakfast trays. Since Starsky had regained consciousness, Hutch and his mother both had been trying to encourage him to eat with only minimal success. He would drink with minimal prompting but most of the time he refused to try to eat. Hutch couldn't really blame him since the doctor had him on a soft diet, consisting mostly of puddings, jello, and other easily digestible foods. Hutch knew how much Starsky hated hospital food to begin with preferring his usual junk food diet even when he was hospitalized.

Sitting up on the edge of his bed, Hutch noticed that Starsky was already awake. He was staring blankly at the wall and didn't respond when Hutch quietly said his name. The tall blond sighed in discouragement. Maybe his talking in his sleep in the early morning hours hadn't been the breakthrough that Hutch hoped it had been after all. Ignoring his own breakfast tray, Hutch uncovered Starsky's breakfast, grimacing when he saw the thick gray oatmeal, the bland vanilla yogurt, and the soggy scrambled eggs. He doubted if he'd have much success getting Starsky to eat any of it.

He wasn't surprised when Starsky steadfastly refused to open his mouth to eat any of the food no matter how much Hutch tried coaxing him. He was still being fed intravenously but the doctor had made it clear that he couldn't be released from the hospital unless he started eating voluntarily. Hutch gave up trying to feed him and instead coaxed him into drinking most of his orange juice, milk and coffee. As long as Hutch remained in Starsky's line of vision, the dark haired man would track his movements with his eyes but if Hutch moved out of his direct line of vision, the blank stare would return to those sapphire eyes. Hutch knew that Starsky was still in there somewhere, he just wished that he knew how to reach him. But, where Starsky was concerned, Hutch could be as patient and persistent as he needed to be. And he was determined to help Starsky find his way back to the people who loved him.

Rachel arrived at the hospital shortly after nine A.M. She smiled as she uncovered a small bowl she had brought with her, showing Hutch the homemade banana pudding. "It was always David's favorite." She told him "I figured it was worth a try." She moved to the side of Starsky's bed and leaned down to gently brush her lips across his cheek. "Good morning, baby…." She said "Mama brought you something…" she spooned out a bite of the pudding and gently pressed the tip of the spoon against Starsky's lips. "Open up and take a bite for me."

Hutch and Rachel both held their breath waiting to see what Starsky would do. After several long minutes, his lips parted slightly, just far enough for Rachel to feed him a tiny bite of the pudding. "You can do better than that." Rachel chided him softly "Eat some more for me." This time Starsky opened his mouth voluntarily and let her feed him more of the sweet treat. Rachel and Hutch exchanged satisfied grins, pleased that they had finally found a way to get Starsky to start eating. As Rachel fed him the rest of the pudding, she glanced at Hutch and said, "I guess I should have brought more. I'll have to run home and get the rest."

"He talked in his sleep last night." Hutch told her "He was dreaming and he didn't wake up….but he talked."

"Well…I guess that's a start." Rachel said. "He's going to come around….I know it. It's just gonna take some time."

"I think he'll probably do a lot better once he gets out of here." Hutch said

"So do I." Rachel agreed. "The doctor said he would probably release him in another week….as long as we can get him to eat."

"Well, I think we figured out the secret to that." Hutch said with a chuckle.

The rest of the morning passed quickly. A therapist came in to do some simple range of motion exercises on Starsky, which Hutch would be continuing after he was released from the hospital. During Starsky's long convalesce from Gunther's attempt on his life, Hutch had learned how to do the same exercises, as well as some more complicated physical therapy techniques to aide in his recovery. He would be using those same techniques to help Starsky this time so he could regain his muscle tone and mobility. After the therapist had finished, Rachel went home so she could get the rest of the banana pudding to tempt Starsky's appetite. While she was gone, Hutch gave Starsky a sponge bath and a shave. Even thought Starsky still didn't respond to Hutch or even appear to recognize him, Hutch continued to carry on a conversation with him even if it was entirely one sided.

Rachel returned shortly after noon. Throughout the rest of the afternoon and early evening, she coaxed Starsky into eating the rest of the banana pudding she had brought from home. She left around eight P.M. and Hutch spent the rest of the evening watching a movie on TV before he turned in for the night.

_Hutch found himself back in the darkness standing beside the campfire. Starsky was sitting there, staring into the fire, the flames reflected in his eyes. Instinctively, Hutch reached out to touch his partner but Starsky flinched and moved away from his touch._

"_Don't touch me…." Starsky said in a ragged tone with a trace of fear in his voice._

"_I'm not going to hurt you, Starsk. Nobody is going to hurt you anymore. You're safe now…"_

"_You didn't come…." Starsky whispered, refusing to look at Hutch "I kept calling for you but you never came…."_

"_I didn't know how to find you….." Hutch said sadly, "We thought you were dead."_

"_I am dead, Hutch…" Starsky said, finally turning his head to look at the tall blond with an expression on his face that broke the big blond's heart "I died because you didn't save me….you didn't find me in time…."_

"_I found you, Starsk…..it just took me awhile." Hutch told him "But now I need you to come back with me…."_

_ "No…" Starsky said, shaking his head stubbornly. "It's safer here…..I don't want to come back." Without another word, Starsky shoved himself to his feet and once more disappeared into the darkness leaving Hutch alone._

Hutch awoke with a start, breathing heavily as the memories of the dream washed over him. He could feel the connection to Starsky, still as strong as ever. Automatically, he glanced over at the other bed where Starsky was sleeping quietly. A shiver ran through Hutch's body. Was Starsky trying to communicate with him through his dreams? Or was Hutch losing his mind?


	15. Chapter 15

**CHAPTER 15**

Hutch waited impatiently for the nurse to finish up with Starsky's paperwork. He was being released from the hospital today and going back to Rachel's house. He was still unresponsive, other than tracking the movements of the people around him with his eyes. He was eating solid food again but only the food that Rachel brought for him from home, he still refused to eat if he was offered hospital fare. As long as he was eating and drinking with verbal prompts, the doctor seemed satisfied enough to release him to Rachel's care. He still argued that Rachel should consider putting him in long term care facility since he still needed someone to tend to his personal needs twenty-four hours a day and Rachel still adamantly refused.

But the doctor needed the bed and Starsky's physical injuries had healed enough that he no longer needed the more intensive medical care provided by the hospital. He was still underweight and needed to gain at least thirty more pounds, he was still essentially non-responsive to his surroundings even though he would follow simple verbal cues with prompting, and his re-broken leg was still in a heavy cast which restricted him to a wheelchair. Hutch would still be responsible for taking care of his most basic needs, his personal hygiene, bathing him, assisting him in the bathroom, and feeding him. Rachel would help but Hutch insisted on continuing the majority of Starsky's care by himself.

Although Starsky remained fairly calm and passive during his waking hours, at night while he was sleeping he became restless and agitated, plagued by bad dreams where he relived the nightmare of the past six months in his mind. During the day, he remained silent and made no attempt to speak but at night in his sleep, he often cried out and called Hutch's name in pleading, begging tone that tore at the big blond's heart. And Hutch continued to have some strange dreams of his own, dreams where Starsky talked to him, dreams where Hutch begged Starsky to come back with him and Starsky continued to refuse.

Hutch had already gotten Starsky shaved and dressed, then put him in his wheelchair and now they were waiting impatiently for the nurse to come so they could leave. "Hey, buddy….it shouldn't be much longer." Hutch said lightly. He smiled at his partner even though he knew Starsky would only stare at him blankly with that glazed look in his eyes. But Hutch refused to treat Starsky any differently than he always had, he knew that the dark haired man could hear him, he just had to find the key to unlock him from the prison of his own mind. He longed to see the twinkle in those sapphire eyes and that thousand-watt smile on that ruggedly handsome face once again. He wanted his partner back. He missed his best friend.

Finally, a young brunette with brown eyes swept into the room. In a bored voice, she said, "Here's Mr. Starsky's release papers and the prescriptions from the doctor." She handed the paperwork to Hutch "And his discharge orders are in there too. He has a follow up appointment scheduled with the doctor next Thursday and an appointment for evaluation by physical therapy next Friday. Are there any questions?"

"No. Can we just get out of here?" Hutch asked, his patience worn thin from waiting all morning to leave.

"Of course." The young woman said with a plastic smile. Hutch stopped her as she started to reach for the handles on the wheelchair.

"I'll do it." Hutch said, "I know the way to the front door." He didn't mean to sound rude but he didn't much care for some of the staff at this hospital. They were too burned out to have much concern for the patients under their care and it showed, especially with some of the nurses. The nurse followed him out into the hall and walked back to the nurse's station while Hutch continued on towards the exit.

Hutch had parked his car in front of the exit when he arrived that morning so he wouldn't have to take Starsky across the parking lot when they left the building. Pausing beside the door, he carefully locked the wheels on the wheelchair and then reached out to open the car door on the passenger's side.

"I know it's not the striped tomato" Hutch said, using his nickname for Starsky's flashy red Torino "But it's gonna have to do." He chuckled softly at his own joke as he reached down to move the foot pedals on the wheelchair out to the side, so that Starsky's feet rested on the pavement. He gently raised Starsky's hands and placed them on his shoulders. Slipping his left leg between Starsky's legs for counterbalance, Hutch leaned forward and carefully wrapped his arms around the smaller man's waist. Slowly, he straightened up, pulling Starsky upright as he did.

Pivoting easily on his left foot, he carefully eased Starsky down into the front seat with his torso inside the car and his feet still resting outside the car. Starsky didn't assist or resist as Hutch helped him into the car. Hutch carefully eased his partner's legs into the car, taking special care with the casted leg. Starsky sat there, unresponsive, as Hutch reached over him to securely fasten the shoulder harness and the lap belt.

Hutch shut the car door and then folded up the wheelchair, carrying it around to the driver's side of the car where he stuck it in the back seat. He dug his keys out of his pocket as he slid underneath the wheel. The engine roared to life as Hutch turned on the ignition and pulled away from the curb. As he drove through the narrow streets towards Starsky's childhood home, Hutch stole glances at his companion. He noticed that the closer they got to his old neighborhood, the more Starsky's eyes seemed to be watching his surroundings through the windshield.

Rachel was watching for them and came out the front door as soon as Hutch pulled into the driveway. She hurried to the passenger's side of the car and opened the door to welcome her eldest son home. Hutch pulled the wheelchair out of the back seat and carried it around to the other side of the car. Rachel unfolded the wheelchair and held it steady while Hutch helped Starsky out of the car and got him settled into the chair.

"I think he knows where he is." Hutch told her with an encouraging smile as he took the handles to push the wheelchair around to the back of the house. He had built a makeshift ramp at the back door so they could get the wheelchair in and out of the house. "He seemed to be more alert the closer we got to the house."

"I'm sure that David knows exactly where he is." Rachel said with a smile as she ran her fingers through her son's thick dark hair. "He knows he's home." Hutch pushed the wheelchair up to the kitchen table and locked the brakes. He sank down in the chair beside Starsky and accepted the cup of coffee that Rachel handed him from the pot sitting on the stove. She poured a second cup for Starsky and laced it heavily with sugar and cream just the way her son liked it.

As she sat the cup on the table in front of Starsky, Hutch leaned over and said gently "Drink your coffee, Starsk." When he didn't respond immediately to the verbal prompt, Hutch carefully took Starsky's left hand and folded his fingers around the cup sitting in front of him. "Drink it, Starsk." He repeated "It's coffee." Finally, Starsky slowly lifted the cup to his lips and took a drink. Hutch noticed the slight tremor in his hand. It had improved significantly from the first few days in the hospital when his hands shook so badly he couldn't hold the cup on his own.

Since it was after noon, Rachel already had lunch prepared. She had fixed beef stew over homemade biscuits with banana pudding for dessert. She fixed each of them a plate and sat them on the table, taking the chair across from Hutch at the kitchen table. Hutch helped Starsky eat his meal, letting him feed himself until he got tired and then helping him to finish. On his own, Starsky would only eat half of his food but with gentle prompting and coxing from Hutch or Rachel, he would finish the rest. After they were finished eating, Hutch took Starsky into the downstairs bedroom at the back of the house where the two of them would be sleeping.

Starsky and Hutch had often shared a bed in the past, especially after his long recovery after his shooting. Then as now, it was simpler for Hutch to sleep in the same bed with him in case he needed care or comforting during the night. He helped Starsky out of his clothes and into a pair of soft loose sweatpants with a matching tee shirt. Then he eased him into bed and gave him his afternoon meds. Hutch knew that the meds would make him sleep most of the afternoon, so Hutch stretched out beside him to grab a nap of his own. It wasn't long before he started to dream.

_Hutch found himself walking through a field filled with flowers. The sun was shining brightly and he could hear a gentle stream flowing somewhere nearby. As he looked around, Hutch saw Starsky standing at the edge of the woods that surrounded the field. Smiling brightly, Hutch walked towards his friend. _

_Starsky watched Hutch as he walked towards him but made no move to step closer to him. His sapphire eyes simply looked at him with a vague questioning look on his face. _

"_I thought you left." Starsky said, as if he were surprised to see Hutch there._

"_I'd never do that to you, Starsk. I told you before I'm not leaving unless you come with me." Hutch replied_

"_I'm afraid…." Starsky said in a barely audible voice, absently taking a step back towards the woods behind him. "It's not safe to leave this place…."_

"_It's safe, Starsk. You'll be with me. I won't let anyone hurt you anymore."_

"_You promise?"_

"_I promise." Hutch said with a grin as he held out his hand encouragingly. "Come with me….."_

"_No…." Starsky said sadly, shaking his head "I can't…..not yet…." He turned and disappeared back into the woods, leaving Hutch alone in the field of flowers. _

Hutch awoke with a start, blinking his eyes as he slowly gazed around the room. Starsky had moved in his sleep until he was curled up against Hutch, looking like a little boy worn out from a hard day at play. He heard a soft sound, almost too quiet to be heard. Starsky was mumbling in his sleep but Hutch couldn't make out the words.

"Starsky?" Hutch whispered. "It's okay, you're safe now." He gently brushed his knuckles against the smaller man's cheek. Starsky didn't wake up but as Hutch leaned closer he could hear Starsky repeating one word over and over again. Hutch's name. Tears burned Hutch's eyes as he gently pulled his friend in his arms and held him tightly. "It's okay, Starsky. You're safe now….I got ya. I got ya." Starsky quieted and his breathing smoothed out into the natural rhythm of a peaceful sleep. Hutch raised his eyes towards the ceiling and whispered "Please, God….he's been through enough. Please bring him back to us….."


	16. Chapter 16

**CHAPTER 16**

_Starsky felt safe where he was. He was beyond the pain. He was beyond the fear. In the beginning, he had fought back with everything he had in him, until the beatings and the torture became so bad his body gave in and his mind took him away to somewhere safe. And he'd been glad to go. He had given up hope of rescue, hope of Hutch ever finding him. Here in the darkness, he was safe, nobody could get the past the walls he'd built around his mind and his soul. Except there was something out there that kept chipping away at that wall, trying to pull him away from the darkness that protected him._

_It was a voice. A voice that kept calling his name. Comforting him somehow. There was something in the sound of that voice, something that he was supposed to understand and listen to. Something he trusted. All at once, he wanted out and something deep inside of him told him that voice was the key he needed for his escape. Starsky took a deep slow breath, calling on all the strength he had left to break through the barriers between him and the sound of that voice. He felt the fear seeping into his pores and the hair on the back of his neck stood on end. But he wasn't alone this time. He was safe, safe as long as he could hear that gentle, coaxing voice. Starsky blinked as the fog lifted, vague images coming into sharper focus. All at once, it was clear. Hutch. He was safe. He was with Hutch._

The sight of the tall blond nearly overwhelmed Starsky's mind with raw emotion. Confusion crashed in around him as he tried to make sense out of what was happening. He had waited for so long. He had never doubted that Hutch would either find him or he would die trying. He had never doubted that until his mind shut down and he lost all hope. Safe for the first time in an eternity, Starsky leaned into the warm and security of Hutch's embrace.

"Starsk?" Hutch whispered, gently rocking the man he held his arms as he tried to soothe away the nightmare that had awakened them both. Starsky was mumbling his name again, over and over, but the sound was barely audible.

"It's me, Starsk." Hutch said reassuringly, snuggling his dark haired friend closer and gently brushing his lips across those dark curls. "You're safe now….you're here with me."

Starsky gave a soft moan and moved his head, his eyes locking with Hutch's own gaze. This time Starsky's eyes held recognition but also disbelief and just a hint of fear. "Hutch…." He whispered in a raspy, barely audible voice "Dreaming?"

"No, you're not dreaming, Starsk…" Hutch said in a choked voice, struggling to hold back his tears and to keep his own voice calm. "I'm right here and so are you.' He stroked Starsky's arm reassuringly as he continued rocking him in his arms "You're safe now. You're safe."

Starsky reached out and lightly ran his fingers over Hutch's face, his eyes a mix of emotions, showing the first real life he'd shown since Hutch had found him. He seemed to be searching for the truth, a truth he was afraid to accept. Finally, he just gave up and leaned against Hutch, whispering, "What took ya so long?" Hutch chuckled without answering, other than to continue holding Starsky tightly. He felt the body in his arms relax and heard Starsky's breathing deepen and even out. At first Hutch was afraid that he had slipped away from him again but then he realized that he had simply slipped into a natural sleep. Hutch lay there, staring into the darkness and finally let the tears come, falling down his face as he thanked God for returning his friend to him. Finally, Hutch fell into a restless sleep of his own.

When he opened his eyes the next morning, Hutch was startled to find Starsky's eyes open and staring at him, a slight smile on the smaller man's face. "Starsky?" Hutch said in an awed voice, still not sure if he believed that the early morning events had been real, not until he heard Starsky's voice answer him.

"I'm still here." His voice was still weak and raspy from disuse but the alertness was back in those sapphire eyes and that expressive face. "We're at Ma's, right?" Starsky asked, his eyes slowly drifting around the room "This is the downstairs bedroom."

"Yeah, we're at your moms. Until your leg comes out of that cast, you ain't going be going up and down any stairs."

"My leg?" Starsky said slowly "They broke my leg….it hurt like a son of a bitch…"

"Yeah, the doctors had to re-break in and put in a steel rod so it'd heal right this time." Hutch explained.

"I was in the hospital?" Starsky asked in a confused voice

"Yeah, for almost three weeks."

"I don't remember."

"I know."

"How did you find me?"

"I didn't. Joe Durniak did."

"Joe?" Starsky exclaimed in a surprised voice with a hint of bitterness in the tone.

"I would never have found you without his help, Starsk." Hutch said "I'll tell you the whole story later….you feel like getting up?"

"Yeah….I guess so…."

Hutch climbed out of bed and walked around to the other side of the bed to help Starsky up out of the bed and into the wheelchair. Now that he was alert and able to help Hutch to move him, it was a much easier job than it had been before. Hutch pushed the chair into the adjoining bathroom where he helped Starsky to stand and balance himself so he could relieve himself. After taking his own turn at the commode, Hutch took Starsky back into the bedroom where both men got dressed.

The aroma of eggs and bacon drifted in from the kitchen as Hutch opened the bedroom door and pushed Starsky out into the living room. In the kitchen, Rachel was humming softly under her breath as she cooked breakfast for the three of them. Starsky and Hutch exchanged a glance, then Starsky grinned and said softly "Hey, Ma…."

Startled at the sound of her son's voice, Rachel gave a sharp cry and whirled around, her eyes widening when she saw Starsky grinning. She threw herself at the wheelchair, wrapping her arms around her eldest tightly and saying something in Yiddish that made Starsky chuckle softly. Still weak, he managed to raise his arms and wrap them around his mother's waist in a gentle squeeze. Hutch felt the tears burning his eyes at the heartwarming sight. Looking at Hutch, tears falling down her cheeks, Rachel said "When?"

"A couple of hours ago." Hutch answered "He had another bad dream and when I got him awake….he recognized me."

Turning to her son, Rachel said something else to Starsky in Yiddish and he answered her the same way. Hutch smiled, relieved and happy that Starsky had finally broken through the barriers in his own mind that had kept him away from them. Now he could heal and start to recover from his ordeal. Maybe now they could get the final answers to the questions that still remained unanswered but there was plenty of time for that later. This morning was for rejoicing, giving thanks that Starsky was back, both physically and mentally. That he was still alive to share this moment with the people who loved him the most.

The three of them sat at the kitchen table to enjoy their breakfast together. Starsky fed himself with only minimal assistance from Hutch. He still had to be encouraged to eat more than just a few bites and it took him longer to finish than usual but finish he did. During the meal, Rachel kept reaching out to touch his hand or his shoulder, reassuring herself that her son knew where he was and who he was with. That he knew he was finally home.


	17. Chapter 17

**CHAPTER 17**

Once Starsky was alert, his recovery progressed quickly. He soon regained most of his strength and the weight that he had lost. The doctor was pleasantly surprised when he saw him for his checkup. He took him off most of his meds, except some mild pain medication for his broken leg which still ached, especially at night. The physical therapy sessions started that same week to help him regain his mobility and his muscle tone. Since they had both been injured so many times in the line of duty, Hutch already knew most of the therapy exercises Starsky had to do so he could do them at home to help speed up that process. Starsky still hadn't talked much about his ordeal but Hutch knew that would come in time.

Hutch had already told Starsky his part of the story, about the plane crash and how everyone was led to believe that he was dead. About the mysterious package that had arrived at headquarters with his personal possessions in it that had sent Hutch to New York for answers and about Joe Durniak's part in his eventual rescue. He told Starsky about Gunther being behind the whole thing and how Ben Forest had been the highest bidder.

Privately, he told Starsky about Nick's part in the whole sordid affair. Starsky was hurt but not really that surprised to find out that his brother had been a part of his abduction and torture. He told Hutch that Nick had been the one who called the cab for him that morning but when they arrived, instead of taking him to the airport, the driver had taken him to a deserted warehouse where he had been overpowered by four men and drugged. Although neither Gunther nor Forest had ever been mentioned by name, over the following months, Starsky had come to realize that these four men were just hired muscle. Men who had been hired for their viciousness and willingness to torture another human being.

Even after Starsky started to recover, Hutch still continued to share a bed with him at night. Mainly because he woke up night after night with violent nightmares that left him shaking and disoriented. It would take Hutch a long time to get him calmed back down so that they could go back to sleep. Hutch knew that the nightmares would lesson their grip on his mind if Starsky talked about the specifics of what he'd gone through but he also knew he couldn't push it. Starsky would tell him in his own time and his own way what he had been through but not until he was ready.

That time came almost three weeks after Starsky regained alertness. He'd had a hard day at therapy and his muscles were sore and aching. He'd gone to bed early that evening, only to be awakened shortly after midnight with another nightmare. Unable to coax him back to sleep, Hutch had suggested they get up and make some hot chocolate to try and relax Starsky enough to go back to sleep.

Hutch was standing at the stove with his back to Starsky, stirring the milk in the pan as it heated, when he heard Starsky say in a soft, shaky voice, "They hurt me, Hutch. They hurt me bad."

"I know, buddy. I know." Hutch replied, the tightness in his shoulders the only visible sign of how deeply those simple words affected the big blond. He poured out two cups of hot chocolate and turned to his partner. He sat one down in front of Starsky, then took a seat facing him. "Wanna talk about it?" Hutch asked quietly, trying to keep his voice calm and steady.

Starsky stared down into his cup as if he could find the answers there. Finally, he sighed softly and said "At first I thought they were going to kill me right away but they didn't, they just tied up my hands and feet so I couldn't fight back and roughed me up a little. They kept telling me I was going to die but not for a long time that I had to suffer first…." Starsky raised pain filled eyes to meet Hutch's gaze steadily "At first I told myself that you'd come looking for me when you realized I wasn't on the plane….I didn't know they blew up the plane….or put a ringer on it pretending to be me."

"Yeah…they did a good job of making it look like you died in that crash." Hutch admitted, "They wanted to make sure that nobody came looking for you."

"They broke my leg that first day." Starsky said, closing his eyes as he let the painful memories wash over him. This mother the size of a mountain stomped on it until it broke. It hurt so goddamn bad…..I got pretty sick from it, started running a really high fever. I knew it never healed right….."

"Starsk….I'm sorry….I didn't…." Hutch said, feeling guilty and ashamed that Starsky had been through so much before he found him.

"It's not your fault, blintz." Starsky said with a touch of sadness in his voice "You didn't know….they made sure of that. And when you did…you came after me."

"But not in time…."

"You came in time to keep me from dying." Starsky reminded him "That's the important thing."

"Barely." Hutch muttered remembering how close to death Starsky had been when he found him.

"They beat me every day….sometimes it was just their fists and their feet…but other times they used a belt….or a chain….once they used a baseball bat." Starsky's voice had taken on a soft, childlike quality as he remembered more and more of his torture and his eyes had darkened with sadness and remembered pain.

"What else did they do?" Hutch asked, not really wanting to hear the answer but knowing that Starsky needed to get it all out.

"They hardly ever gave me any food or water and even when they did….it was usually stale or starting to go bad. I finally stopped eating because I just tossed it back up again. Sometimes they put salt in the water just to make me sick. They thought it was funny." There was a visible tremble in his hand as he picked up his cup and took a sip of his hot chocolate. Hutch waited patiently for him to go on. "This one guy got off on cutting me with a knife or burning me with his cigarettes. This other guy just liked to hear me scream and he'd do whatever he had to until I did…." A slight tremor ran through his entire body and he sighed deeply "After a while, I stopped caring what they did to me…cause no matter what they did it hurt….it hurt so damn bad."

He raised his head and locked eyes with Hutch, his sapphire orbs brimming with tears "I used to call your name, Hutch…. Beg for you to come and get me before it was too late…but as more time went by and you didn't come….I stopped caring….I stopped hoping….." He lowered his eyes but not before Hutch saw the tears falling down his cheeks as Starsky admitted that he had given up hope.

Instinctively, Hutch reached out to grab Starsky's hand, trying to give him as much comfort as he could, to reassure him that it was over now and he was safe. Starsky flinched and pulled his hand away but Hutch knew that the dark haired man wasn't rejecting his comfort; he just couldn't deal with it and his memories too. "Tell me the rest, Starsk…" Hutch insisted, "Get it all out and we'll deal with it…..together…just like always."

"I thought you forgot about me, Hutch…." Starsky said in a forlorn voice that ripped at the big blond's heart. "I thought everybody forgot about me….and left me in hell by myself…."

Hutch jumped to his feet and to his friend's side, pulling him tightly into his embrace. He felt Starsky's shoulders shaking as he buried his face against Hutch's stomach and wrapped his arms tightly around the big blond's waist. Hutch felt his own tears falling down his face as he held Starsky while he finally gave way to his own tears and grief. It took a long time for the smaller man to finally regain his composure.

Kneeling in front of him, Hutch gently cupped his cheek with his hand and forced the dark haired man to look at him. "Is there more?" he asked gently

"I don't remember much at the end." Starsky told him in a tightly controlled voice "I just remember giving up…..and wanting it to be over…."

"It is over now, Starsk. It's all over….you're safe now and nobody is gonna hurt you anymore. I'll kill anyone who tries to hurt you again." Hutch told him with a grim determination. He smiled faintly "You wanna go back to bed now?"

Starsky nodded his head without replying. Hutch pushed the wheelchair back to the bedroom they were sharing and helped his friend into back into bed. Exhausted, Starsky fell asleep within minutes but for Hutch, sleep was a long time coming. He had heard the torment in Starsky's voice; he had felt his loss of hope. Hutch had experienced his pain. And he felt overwhelmed with grief and guilt. He had failed to protect his best friend and his partner. And Starsky had come close to dying yet again because of Hutch's failures. As he finally drifted off to sleep, he swore he would never let that happen again. He would not fail to protect Starsky the next time.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Rachel smiled as she watched David and Hutch sitting side by side at the kitchen table eating the cake she had baked for them. It had been almost three months since Hutch had come to New York and told her that David was still alive. He was almost back to his old self again. The cast on his leg would come off in a few weeks and then he would be returning to Bay City with Hutch. Rachel would miss him terribly but she knew that his life was in California now, not in New York with her. And she knew that as long as he was with Hutch, he would be safe. The tall blond had once again shown just how much he cared for her son and the lengths he would go to in order to protect him.

David still had nightmares about his ordeal but not as often as he did in the beginning. His mental injuries were recovering as well as his physical ones. Rachel knew that Nick had returned to New York He had called her to tell her that he was okay and to give her his new address. After some heavy coaxing on her part, Hutch had finally revealed everything Joe Durniak had told her about Nick's part in what had happened to his brother. Rachel had made it painfully clear to her youngest son that she did not want to see him, not just yet, and that she was aware of his part in David's abduction. True to his nature, Nicky tried to downplay his part in the whole affair and tried to shift the blame to everyone else.

Rachel had also made a private call to Joe Durniak to thank him for helping Hutch to find David. The old gang boss was gracious and courteous as usual. He assured her that all the men responsible had been taken care of and that he would continue to 'watch over' Rachel once David and Hutch returned to Bay City. He also informed her that he would be 'watching' Nicky and that he was working for one of Joe's businesses. Rachel knew how to read between the lines, she knew that Joe would make sure Nick realized the error of his ways when it came to family loyalty.

Rachel smiled when she heard David laugh at something Hutch had said. It felt so good to hear his laugh again. For six months, she had mourned her oldest son's 'death' and then had him returned to her in the most unexpected way. She cherished the second chance she had been given to spent this time with her eldest son. She knew that she was indeed blessed to have him with her.

"Hey, Ma…" David called to her "This cake is great!"

"Just don't spoil your appetite for supper." She called back "I'm making the Paul Muni Special tonight with Blintzs for dessert."

"Hear that, baby blue…" Starsky teased Hutch "You're the dessert for tonight." Rachel joined in their laughter as the three of them enjoyed the peaceful, quiet afternoon at home.


End file.
